Hale Charming
by Cassiesmum02
Summary: When Sarah Hale returned to Charming she was hoping it would be a fresh start in the town of her youth, but nightmares from her recent past aren't going to make her return easy. Is it worth fighting for the happy ending she wants?
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

I know I was going too fast as I practically flew down the road towards Charming, but the knowledge that the only place I was going to be safe was in the tiny town I grew up in, and within the walls of the Clubhouse I'd called home when I was a teenager didn't allow me to let up on the gas. Cringing into the seat I don't relax till I realise the flashing lights I've spotted are attached to a Jeep I recognise, and the bike is eerily familiar too.

Pulling in behind the marked police vehicle and throwing open my door I push my waist length brown hair behind me as I walk to the front of the bike, before looking at David, "Really David, harassing the innocent again?" Laughing at the shocked looks on both Opie's and David's face I all but run back past the massive trees to the car I had left idling at the side of the road and accelerate past them both in a shower of shingle and dust seeing Opie say something to David with a bewildered look on his face.

Pulling into the driveway at the Winston home I feel like I'm finally, truly home as Donna runs out the door calling "Sarah, is that really you?" With a half-shrug and a smile I turn to my best friend since middle school and say in a soft voice, "I told you I was coming back, I just made it sooner after hearing about the baby."

Donna sighs loudly, and her dark brown eyes meet my stormy grey ones as she mutters, "Stupid drug fucked whore. If only any of us had known we would have locked her away from all the drugs she loved more than her family."

"So it's true, she died?" I can't help but ask, annoyance colouring my tone, and showing the contempt I feel for Wendy and her choices.

"Yup, overdosed on Jax' kitchen floor, it's only thanks to Gemma that Abel is alive." It's unusual for Donna's voice to be so nonchalant when discussing someone who has died, but I suppose that the situation has bypassed her compassion.

"Shit." That word, it seems to sum up everything I want to say, and the things that I can't put into words just yet.

"Anyway, no sad stuff today. You're back? For good?" Donna asks vibrating in place; looking like she was about to start jumping up and down and squealing like she had the night Opie finally asked her out.

I nod and remark "Yeah, four years and I'm done in New York. I should never have gone, but..."

"Tara lied to you and you left before she could leave with your future." Donna interrupts me with a grin.

"Something like that, oh, and Opie and David have already seen me. David had Ope pulled over just off the highway. But I think that seeing me they both forgot why the stop had happened." The humour is dancing in my voice and I hope, for Ope's wallets sake, that the stop was forgotten.

Donna bursts into laughter and starts shoving me back to the car "Put your car in the garage so he doesn't see it when he gets home."

After pulling my car into the Winston's garage I wander into the kitchen and find Donna fighting with her 4 year old twins, trying to get them to their tiny table and into their chairs for dinner.

Standing in the doorway trying not to laugh Donna looks up at me, "Don't you dare start, come over here and give me a hand."

Scooping the wiggling Kenny up from the floor while Donna grabbed Ellie the pair of them were sitting in their chairs just as we heard Opie's bike pull in out the front. Donna points me towards the laundry closing the door as we both hear the front door open.

"Hey babe, you'll never guess who I thought I saw today." A series of boot thuds give the progression of Opie from the front door to the screech of the dining chair.

"Who?" Donna asked, feigning curiosity as I hear her pull bottles from the fridge, the clink of one being put on the bench and the sound of a bottle top bouncing off the rubbish bin lid.

"Funniest thing, Hale had me pulled over for speeding just outside the Mill when this cage came to a screaming stop right behind his car and I could have sworn it was Sarah. The way she talked, how she shut him down with one sentence. But she vanished before I could be sure. Didn't really look like something she'd drive either. Low-slung, loud as shit thing, pretty sure the sounds in it would make the windows rattle. "

Giggling at her oblivious husband Donna slides open the laundry door, leaving me standing there, leaning against the wall shaking in silent laughter as she pulls 2 glasses from the cabinet. "Honestly Opie, you should get your eye's checked, I mean really...seeing people who have been gone for years!? "

"Sarah!? How are you? Where have you been? Why are you back? Are you back? " Opie seems bursting with questions as he strides across the kitchen and swings me off my feet into a hug.

"How am I? I'm not that good, but that is a story for tomorrow, at a big Redwood table if I'm allowed near the Clubhouse after what happened. Where was I, I was in New York, it was amazing, but too loud, too fast, too crowded, too NOT me. I'm back for several reasons, one being the mentioned, Redwood table, but also the baby, your wife, you, the rest of the Club. And, yes, Opie I am back. I'm not leaving again, and if I do it would not be in the middle of the night with my tail between my legs like a scolded dog. "

Opie's face goes through several emotions, fear at the mention of me needing to speak at the table, understanding about the noise of anywhere other than Charming and a wide grin that pulled the edges of his beard almost to his hairline when I confirm I'm back for good.

"What happened? Why did you leave, and not tell any of us, even Donna didn't know you'd gone till your cousin told her?" Opie grills, grimacing at the word cousin.

"Ope, she's just driven 2 days to get back, let the girl have a glass of wine and some food before you put her to the Spanish Inquisition" Donna hands her husband a plate and me a glass, before grabbing the other 2 plates and her own glass.

Sitting at the table I take a big sip of the chilled white wine, to calm my nerves to answer the questions that I know Opie, and the rest of the Club, would need the answers to before they got the reason I was back in such a hurry.

"No, it's okay Donna, he does need to know. But, Opie, can I wait till tomorrow. I promise I will tell you the whole story. But the rest of the Club needs to know, and I don't think I could go through it more than once." I say quietly, blinking slowly, finally realising that driving 46 hours in 3 days probably wasn't the best idea but the need to get away from New York was too great to stop for full nights of sleep. The four hours' sleep and the rushed shower I had some time yesterday morning in Denver seem like they were months ago, not hours.

Opie studies me for a few seconds before nodding his head, his words coming out with a grin "Sure, come here eat my food, drink my booze with no mention of how you've spent the last 4 years."

"Oh, Ope, I can tell you how I spent the time in New York." I say with a smile of my own while lifting my fork to my mouth. "I went to culinary school." He looks blank, "I learned to cook, professionally, it took me almost 3 years but I love it."

Donna's hand shoots over and slaps the fork away from my mouth saying "You don't want to eat MY cooking."

I can't help laughing even more at the horrified look on my best friends face as I struggle to form words. "Donna, you knew what I was doing." I'm still giggling a bit as I mutter "I'm sure your cooking can't be that bad, I mean Opie doesn't look starving."

"Yeah, but he eats for a week at Gemma's on a Sunday night." Donna's face looks mortified at the thought of me eating anything she's made.

Leaning over and grabbing my fork from her slack hand I stab into a piece of potato popping it into my mouth before Donna could protest again. "See, still alive." I grin at her while chewing.

Dinner conversation turns to lighter things, Opie and Donna entertain me the whole meal with tales of what their kids have been up to. Not much is mentioned of any of the Sons, or the aftermath of my departure, which I'm glad of.

After finishing dinner and helping Donna wash the dishes I watch quietly as the pair of them get their children ready for bed, a routine that I don't want to interrupt.

After Kenny and Ellie were finally tucked in bed and fast asleep the two of them come back into the lounge where I was starting to nod off on the couch.

"Don't go to sleep there." Opie jolts me awake by shaking my shoulder as he spoke 2 inches from my ear.

Sitting straight up with a startled exhalation, "Sorry, I'm awake." I slur out, the wine adding to the grogginess I feel from my marathon drive cross-country.

"No, you're not. I made the spare bed for you, sorry but its right by the twins room so they might wake you in the morning. But Sarah, promise you'll stay." Donna says, her eyes glinting slightly with the tears I know will be unleashed on me when she realises I really am not leaving again.

"D, I am not leaving again. Here, take my keys if it makes you feel better." I toss the car keys to her realising as the keys flew through the air that she'll see my key ring and I'll have a very irate friend to deal with.

"You bitch! You told me you couldn't find these photos. You turned them into a _key ring._ How many people have seen these?" Donna asked, tears forgotten and a fire in her eyes that I know means trouble.

"Shit...umm...well..." I stutter, saved when Opie reached out and snatches the key ring from Donna's hand laughing at the photos that made up the small cube key ring.

"Fuck, when did you two take these, and why didn't I get a copy?" Opie demanded looking at the series of photos taken in a photo booth when Donna and I were 17. Just 4 months before I left, seeing his wife and her best friend go from being clad in stolen SAMCRO T-shirts and tiny shorts to nothing but bikini bottoms in the space of the 6 photos had the giant man looking curiously at the pair of us.

"Baby, give me that and I'll show you the real thing." Donna promises with a wink at her husband and a glare at me.

"And that, people, is my signal to go to bed. Thank you for letting me stay." I walk down the hall, stopping at what's obviously the spare room; the bag I dragged out of the car earlier has been dropped on the neatly made bed. Looking round the walls I smile at the collection of photos decorating the room. Everything from the 'car wash' that Opie and Jax had organised (bikinis were required of all women) to the photo from when I got my first B+ on a biology test, thanks to the tutoring that I was forced into.

Hearing Donna's throaty giggle as I walk down the hall confirm that I made my escape at the right time.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Blinking awake in the morning I hear a child crying, then footsteps halt right outside my room before there was a gentle knock.

"I'm awake." I call as I roll over. I'm still struggling to sit up seconds later when I realise it's Opie coming in, not Donna as I expected.

"Shit, when did you get all that done?" Opie asked looking at my arms, and what was showing of the edge of my back, having remained hidden last night in the long sleeves I was wearing.

Extending out my arms I looked at the vines, flora and fauna that cover one arm and the contrast of flashes of bare skin and metal on my upper arm and the bright slices of colour that had been painstakingly inked to my skin. "I started it a week after I left Charming, when I landed in New York I needed something to remind me of home. But that was tiny, something obliterated by what I have now."

Stretching a leg out from under the blankets I showed Opie the charm bracelet that I have round my right ankle, perfectly encasing all the things of home that I missed the second I left.

"Well, you better get up. Donna is making breakfast and she's going to want to see them all, and hear about what they are for." Opie said, hoisting his son up and leaving the room again.

Throwing my feet out of the bed I stand up and look around the tiny bedroom I'm in. "Yup, Sarah you really are back." I say aloud, just to remind myself that I hadn't dreamt my return like I did so many times when I first arrived in New York.

10 minutes later, after dressing and a quick visit to the bathroom I enter the kitchen to hear Opie say "She's got more ink then that. I'm sure."

Donna laughs at her husband then said "I'm sure you're wrong there, you're more ink than skin."

"Morning." I call in a bright voice hoping they'd stop talking about me when I was right there.

Donna hands me a cup and points to the coffee pot which was a blessing as even with a solid 10 hours sleep I still feel like a zombie, and I know today will be harder than yesterday.

Pouring a cup of the strong bitter black liquid I walk to the table, adding milk from the pitcher before sitting down, looking at them both and saying, "Alright, ask."

"Why?" was all Donna asked.

Sighing, I looked at my arms, completely bare in the singlet I had purposefully worn that morning I took a sip of coffee before saying "You both know I hated the thought of tattoo's when I left, I hated that SAMCRO felt it had to brand it's women, and that it was a rite of passage for the prospects. Well, when I got to New York it wasn't even blinked at. I was probably the most out of place I have ever been. I had no ink, no piercings, nothing to make me stand out and here I was about to go to chefs school in a city I had no connection too." Lifting up my foot I show Donna my anklet before continuing.

"The anklet was the start, the connection to home. I had that planned out within 2 days of arriving, and then I had to find an artist. Someone like I realised Happy was, more into the art than the money. I took a shitload of sketches and photos. Everything I wanted to incorporate. The 'Welcome to Charming' sign became the base of it; everything else was added to that. The mile marker, Lumpy's logo, the bike wheel, the photo frame, the broken heart. All the things that I hoped to leave behind, but I knew I wouldn't. I'm lucky I found the artist I did, I was about to give up when I met my tattooist, Al's done all my ink."

Drinking half my coffee in one go I turn one arm to them, showing them the scene that encased my entire left arm. "The gardens, the spring flowers, the deer that used to wander into the yard at the cabin, the midnight sky and lighting on the lake, I guess I knew right when I started with Al on this design that it would be more of what I couldn't fit in the tiny scenes."

Stopping and taking a few minutes to gather my thoughts before moving on the other arm I wonder just how much to tell them about that sleeve and why it was the way it was.

Opie, somehow knowing me just as well as he always did ignored the other sleeve and asked me about my back.

Grinning at that memory I turn my back to them, lifting the singlet bottom over my head so that my whole back was in view. "I don't know, you tell me on that one."

Looking over my shoulder I can see them both looking at the intricate lines that formed a major part of my artwork. The helicopter in flight, it's rotors slightly blurry, the tank suspended underneath by the twisting steel ropes, the massive gun that took up the bottom portion of my back, the mist of clouds being pulled down to the haze of gunpowder. The shell casings seeming to fly out of my skin and scatter towards the ground. But I knew that most of all they saw the name, rank and serial number that was etched on a tattered fluttering banner between my shoulder blades.

"Fuck." I hear Donna mutter under her breath knowing exactly why I had the scene of war dominating the pale skin of my back.

"My tribute, to a father I barely knew who died cause of a war that he shouldn't have been fighting in. A connection to the man who made me what I am today, the person who took away my family when he died." I say softly.

Knowing that the conversation for the moment was done with I looked at Opie while fixing my top and asked "When can we go to the Clubhouse? I guess I have to face the music with Gemma as well don't I?"

Donna grimaces "I think she's going to be harder for you to deal with then seeing Tara again."

I snap my head over to her, "What do you mean, seeing Tara again, I thought she was at medical school in Chicago."

Opie stands up, kisses his wife on the head and says "She was. Come to the garage in about an hour, I'll see if I can soften up Gemma." Grabbing his kutte he walks out the door and a few minutes later we hear a bike start and rumble down the street.

I turn my head back to Donna "Tara..."

Donna brings the coffee pot over to the table, before plopping the twins in a little play area in the kitchen. "She showed up at St Thomas' 2 days after Abel was born. She was in the operating room with him when he was having his heart and guts fixed. She told Jax that she did the heart surgery, I don't believe her but Jax does and is back to thinking that the sun shines out her ass again." With a look on her face like she'd smelt the sun shining out of Tara's behind Donna fills both coffee cups again and shakes her head.

"I can't get Jax to look, properly look, at Abel's notes to see who the main surgeon in his operation was, but I just KNOW that it wasn't Tara. She's only been in medical school for 18 months, even with finishing college in 2 and a half years there is no way she can be a trained surgeon yet, but Jax is barely 23 with a sick baby, whose mother is dead and now his ex has showed back up claiming to be the one who saved his son. He doesn't know what to believe; he's hiding himself in someone he thinks he knows and ignoring what the rest of us are telling him." Donna has given up on the pretence of appearing mellow, she's tapping her fingers and her eyes are flashing dangerously.

I nod, "Well, Jax always had a talent for ignoring the obvious."

Donna snorts and then grins, "Yes, he did. He managed to ignore the perfect woman right in front of him, but you're back and he's here."

"D, nothing's going to happen with me and Jax. The fantasy life that I thought we could have was just that. We're friends, well we were. There won't be a picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog in any future I have with him. It'll be seeing him at events _if _I'm invited and running into him in town. I mean, shit, it's my fault that he and Tara ended up together, isn't it my penance to have to see them together?"

Donna's eyes glint at me and I can tell she wants to tell me that it's not my fault, but she relents and changes the subject to New York and spending the next 45 minutes grilling me on where I lived and worked.

Finally getting to the end of her questions I look over at the clock and I climb to my feet, "Right, I better go get the firing squad over and done with."

Walking past the kids, I drop a kiss on each of their heads before giving Donna a hug "I'll see you later, if Gemma lets me live."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Warning: Contains reference to physical abuse

I know the second I pull into the garage that I'm in huge trouble. Driving under the massive 'Teller-Morrow' sign I spot Gemma standing in the door of the office, hands on her hips and a pissed off look on her face. Not far to her left is a line of bikes, with several of the bikers standing beside their machines, two heads, at the end catch my attention Jax's pale hair contrasting with Opie's dark locks.

Jax's head swivels in the direction of the noise coming from my car and I barely have to time take in the longer hair and rough goatee he's now sporting before he throws a leg over his bike, cutting off whatever it was that Opie was saying. As I open my door and step out Jax roars past me and out into the road.

Not knowing what battle to fight first I headed over to Opie, only to be intercepted by Clay who yanked me off my feet exclaiming how much I'd grown.

Shooting a smile at the man who I admired almost as much as my own father "That's what happens when you leave then come back years later. I'm sorry."

Knowing that Clay would realise how many things that sorry covered I was grateful when he shakes his head and says "I'm good, you came back. But the old lady, well she's a different story. She destroyed the kitchen when she found out you had left. Took me a month before she'd let me get the prospects in."

I cringe and attempt to hide my head in Clay's kutte when the very distinct sound of heels crossing the lot reaches my ears.

"Oh no you don't girlie. You get your backside in that office and you better tell me what the fuck was going through your mind when you scarpered out of here in the middle of the night. NO ONE knew where you went. NO ONE knew if you were alright. You didn't tell anyone you were planning on leaving. We all woke up in the morning and you were just...not here." Gemma snaps at me, getting closer with each word. By the end of it she's inches from my face with her nail so close I had to go cross-eyed to see it.

"Sorry Aunt Gemma. I'll tell you it all, why I left and why I didn't come back." Even though Gemma was no blood relation to me she'd earned the title after I'd moved here, and Clay had been Uncle Clay since I was able to speak.

"Good."

Looking at her I knew I wasn't going to get any more out of her till I told her the whole story so I turned back to Clay and asked him when I could talk to them, cause I had a feeling me coming back wasn't going to be as easy as I hoped.

"If Gem can keep her panties on and her toe out of your ass you can tell us now. Opie, call Jax, get him back here NOW." Clay turned from me, grabbed hold of Gemma's arm and tugs her towards the Clubhouse. "You can listen to, if that's what Sarah wants."

"Sure, it's easier only having to tell the story once. But, Gemma, I really am sorry."

Gemma looks over at me, with her way of reading your very soul I could see the exact second she realised what a mess I was, and that the shit was about to hit the fan the minute that Redwood table had people round it. Wrapping her arms round me I had to bite hard down on one of the metal rings in my lip to stop the tears that were threatening to come.

With Clay on one side of me and Gemma on the other we all walked towards the Clubhouse, hearing the tell-tale sound of Jax in a bad mood coming back into the lot, engine growling like an angry lion.

Clay whistles half way to the door and called out "We're at the table."

The sound of half a dozen pairs of heavy motorcycle boots echo round the lot as feet hit the ground and men started moving towards a door almost entirely covered by the reaper they all wear on their backs.

Several minutes later they're all seated round the huge Redwood table, carved with the same reaper from the door, and their kuttes. "Right boys, this is Sarah's story. She's going to tell you what it is that she needs to share." Clay started, turning his eyes, and the rest of the clubs towards me. All bar the blue ones that I want to see the most.

"Right, well most of you know me already; you know who I am I mean." I start, stumbling over my words for a second, Gemma hands me a coffee and shoves me into the seat she's just vacated, stepping round the table she drops down onto Clays lap.

Sitting down heavily I try to start the story again.

"Sorry, I need to go way back in time for this to make any sense, and to clarify a few things. You all know me, I'm Sarah Hale. Jacob and David are my cousins, but they have never been family to me. You all formed the family that I needed when I was younger, and the family I should never have left.

"When I left I wasn't sure I was doing what I should have, most of you know that I had a massive crush on Jax since I was old enough to recognise boys and I was sure that he was going to be mine, that my future held his crow and his children. Being a supportive Old Lady, making sure to stay out of the way when needed, but to be there when needed.

"Then Jax met Tara." I can't help the bitterness that is coming from my voice now, and looking up from my hands my eyes finally meet the ones I want to see, they're filled with shock and disbelief.

"Wow, okay so Jax is obviously was the only person in Charming that didn't know how I felt. Anyway, for some reason Jax just went crazy over her, he forgot that I existed, but he forgot for a long time that Opie existed as well. When he finally noticed that there were still other people around it was already too late, in my mind, for us salvage whatever friendship we had. Too many nails had been put in that coffin, and too many knives went into my back.

"While Jax was stuck in Tara's pussy I had decided that life would have to go on without him, that my life obviously wasn't meant to go where I thought it was. I applied to every school I could, the only prerequisite was that they had to be far enough away from here to make it impossible for anyone to visit, and for me to come back for holidays. I got accepted to a number of schools, but the one that was the most distance from Charming was in New York. But then Jax and Tara had a fight, bigger than any of us had ever seen and it seemed like maybe things were going to go right for once. Tara was leaving and Jax wasn't, I was considering for-fitting the position I had secured in New York when she came to visit me."

Looking up again, I can see that this is all news to Jax. He looks like he's been stuck with a cattle prod and it's knocked his brain function out. But everyone else round the table is listening.

"She told me that she had convinced Jax to go with her, that he was going to leave the Club, and everything he'd ever known because she asked him too. So I left, I didn't wait any longer. I packed everything that I had left the night that Tara dropped her bombshell. I called the school from the road, somewhere just over the Californian border. I told them I'd be arriving earlier than planned and would it be possible to get into the room they'd secured for me for my first semester.

"I drove for what felt like months, but was only 4 days. Between stopping for sleep and food. I turned my phone off sometime after it rang the 20th time in a day. It went sailing out the window somewhere in Oklahoma.

"I met Cam and Al 4 weeks after I got to New York. The rental apartment in Manhattan Cam lived in had a spare room and we decided I would do all the cooking and cleaning for my share of the rent. Al lived a few apartments down; they were already friends when I met them both.

"Anyway, to cut a year from this story. I also met a man, named Craig, he seemed perfect. But when we'd been together about 6 months he started abusing me."

A chorus of voices from the guys all started up when Jax's voice calls out over them "Shut up. Continue."

I can't help but note his inability to meet my eyes, or say my name I sigh, finish my now cold coffee and continue.

"He was not long out of the army when we met; he told me he'd served his time. I later found out he was given a dishonourable discharge after he attempted to rape one of the Privates in his platoon."

Turning my arms to Opie I gave him a half smile and went on. "The tattoo on my arm isn't like it is by accident. It's camouflage the bits of blank skin are the parts that were too badly scarred for Al to cover up."

Extending out my arm in front of me its Happy who is first to reach over and look, I'm not sure if he's examining the ink, or the scars. But as his fingers tighten on my wrist I realise he's seen the parts of the ink that make up a ripped apart face shadowed on metal, and he's managed to piece them together, and may have worked out the significance of me having my own image in shreds on my forearm.

After each of the Sons looks at my arms, bar the one that still can't lift his eyes from the table I take a deep breath, determined to finish the story I'd started.

"Craig knew how much I missed home, he knew that there was something, or someone, here that I loved with my entire being and he was convinced that if he destroyed me enough he could break that part. He hated every time I got more ink. He hated that I was independent. He hated my friends. He hated my job. You can't tell now, but the scars under all the ink spell his name."

It seems to be that line that snaps Jax from whatever memory he's locked himself in, he shoots up from the table, his chair hitting the wall behind him before striding over to me and holding his hand out demanding something. It takes me a second to relax after cringing into my chair at the violent movement before I realise that he wants to see.

Putting my hand into his he pulls me to my feet and starts looking at the scars and ink that cover my right arm from shoulder to wrist. "He told me, 5 days ago, that he was done trying to make me love him, he was just going to kill me. He said if he couldn't have my heart while I was alive he'd take it when I was dead."

With that I let myself fall into the darkness that's been pulling around the edges of my eyes since I left New York days ago.


	4. Chapter 4

Does anyone have a website where I can post the photos of the characters and outfits I will describing? I also would like a website for the not so PG chapters which come much much later.

CHAPTER FOUR

Coming back to awareness lying on a pool table in the middle of a room of angry sounding men would have horrified most people; to me it was like being in a comfortable pair of shoes.

"Shhh, she's waking up." I hear Gemma's soft tones from by my head, hoping that she's forgiven me for the way that I left, for not telling her that I could no longer see the vision of myself with her son that we'd both hoped for.

Opening my eyes I see she's sitting just to the right of me, absently tracing lines of metal recreated in ink. Meeting her eyes I'm glad that I don't see the anger I knew I deserve, but sadness and hope.

Clay's face appears just behind hers with Tig and Happy flanking him, anger in their eyes and murder in their expressions.

"Hey sleepy." Gemma's voice brings my attention back to her, something I'm half glad about and half terrified of. "Do you have a photo of the fuckwit who's going to become tree fertiliser if he shows up here?" She asks, in that same, very dangerous sounding, quiet voice.

I shake my head, both to get the cobwebs to completely vanish, but also because I don't have any photos of him. "No, but Cam is meant to be driving down with the rest of my stuff. There are photos of him in my albums and on my laptop. Unless he got to it first..." I trail off, suddenly scared that I could have thrown my friend to the wolf without even realising.

"I need a phone. Please. I have to make sure Cam's okay." I say suddenly panicked about my friend's safety. A phone appears in my hand seconds later and I'm dialling Cam's number before I've even registered who it came from. The Mohawked man standing to my side shrugs off my thanks as he walks over to the bar where Opie is sitting with Piney and another couple of people I don't know, but note from the lack of patches on their kuttes that they're prospects.

While it rings quietly in my ear Clay orders me to inform Cam to wait in Reno for an escort to Charming.

"Yellow." I hear from the phone in Cam's typical cherry voice.

I sign and start to relax, not realising that I still have yet to say anything till Cam's voice comes again "Look, creep I don't like heavy breathers, call an old folks home, give them a thrill."

"Shit, Cam, it's me!" I exclaim laughing.

"Oh, Sarah. Thank fuck, we were starting to think we were driving half way across the country to bring stuff to someone who wasn't there." Cam's voice is slightly exasperated. "What did you do to your phone; I've tried ringing dozens of times and sent at least 50 messages."

"I tossed the phone, somewhere in a lake, I didn't know if it had a tracker in it. After all, Craig gave it to me, anything is possible...Wait, we?" The plural of people driving with my stuff shocks me a little. Trying to work out who it is that could possibly be coming too.

I hear a slight scuffle before I hear the rich sound of Al's voice come down the line. "Well, my best canvas up and left on me. I had to follow it; after all we're still decorating." Al sounds like it should have been obvious who it was. "We've been taking turns driving. We'll be there tomorrow night at this stage. So, I hope you have a heck of a welcoming committee set up for us; I've been barked at, dribbled on, growled at, peed on and yanked off my feet since we left New York. And that's just by your bloody horse."

I can't help but laugh again at Al's description of how my dog has been behaving, in the short conversation I'd had with Cam prior to leaving we'd both realised he wouldn't like the cross country drive, but we also all knew he would like it less in my Dodge Challenger then he would having the space to spread out in the Dodge Nitro that had been brought when he got to big to get behind the seat in the 2 door car.

"I'll get a number for you to ring me on. Ring, no texts. When you're in Reno. We'll get an escort sorted from there so you can find your way directly to where we are. No texts, okay Al."

A piece of paper appears in front of me and I read out the number to Al, just before I hang up I say, "Remember, only phone calls."

After saying bye to my 2 greatest friends from across the country I look up again, the number that appeared in front of me was still sitting in Gemma's hand with a phone box in the other. She hands me the phone and says "It's one of our pre-pays. Use that till you can sort your own."

Nodding at her I finally climb off the table. Walking over to the bar I plop down on the stool beside Opie, leaning my head against his shoulder and breathing in the familiar smell of leather, oil and petrol that seems to be the aftershave all the Sons wear. Opie's head moves and I hear a clink of a glass landing in front of me before I can bring myself to move my head Opie's massive hand appears holding a glass with ½ an inch of clear liquid in the bottom.

Taking the tumbler from his hand I knock back what I know will be a shot of the strongest vodka they have in house, surprised that Opie still remembers my drink of choice.

Coughing just a little I sit up straighter and turn around to face the members of a Club I'd always loved.

Opie swings his chair and starts introducing me, pointing at the Mohawk bearer he says "That's Juice, our resident retard. But he's smart with computers."

Looking at him with my head tilted to the side I can't help but ask "Coffee flavoured juice?" which brings a chorus of laughter from around the room, and a stumbled explanation of Juan Carlos being shortened to JC, which became Juice.

Next is Chibs, who I half remember from the time before I left, he nods like he remembers me as well but can't quiet bring himself to smile.

Opie turns again and starts to remind me off all the names of the people I remember but I cut him off with a grin. "No one in their right mind could forget Happy, Bobby or Piney. I still have nightmares about Tig, but I add a doll to it and they seem funny." Tig pulls a finger up at me and says "I'll remember that."

Opie ignores the prospects, deeming them not important enough to give names too, bar one who I am told is almost ready to be patched in, named Half-Sack. I almost ask him why, but seeing the shaking heads of everyone standing behind him quickly convinces me that that's not a good idea.

After another hour of sitting, listening to the guys around me talk quietly Clay comes back out of Chapel and announces it's time to get back to work. The guys all stumble out as he walks over to me. Wrapping me in another hug he speaks almost into my hair, "We will find this guy, we will deal with him, and you are NOT leaving once that is done. Are we clear, cause if we do I will not stop my Old Lady hunting you down and dragging you back here by your hair if needed."

I nod into his chest and say "Understood Uncle Clay."

"Right," he says briskly. "Go with Gemma and get lunch for all the boys."

Swallowing loudly I know that Gemma is not going to let me away with just the story that I have told already, she's going to want to know why I believed that Jax would leave his club, the club that he was born into. She's going to want to know why I believed that Tara had the power to pull him away. And I'm not sure that she'll like the reasons that I have.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: After this chapter I will be trying to upload on a Sunday and a Wednesday (NZ time) which will be a Saturday and a Tuesday for those of you in the USA. Provided I manage to keep my buffer in place this will happen till I either finish this story or those reading it get bored of it. :-)

CHAPTER FIVE

Climbing into Gemma's Escalade I knew that we'd be having a serious conversation during this trip for food.

Starting her car and backing out of her parking space Gemma doesn't even wait till we're out of the lot before asking the one question that will mean I have to answer everything. And all it takes is one word.

"Why?" She flicks her eyes to me and then back to the road.

I know exactly she means, why didn't I trust her, why did I trust Jax would figure out Tara's games, why did I believe that Jax would leave his club, why didn't I tell someone I was leaving, why didn't I come back when I got there and didn't fit in and I know she won't take any bullshit, or half answer.

"Gemma, I didn't tell the whole story of my conversation with Tara to the guys, they didn't need to know, but obviously you do so you can see what she'll do if she thinks she's loosing Jax again. And it all really boils down to one thing, one fact she told me...or so I thought. She told me she was pregnant, and that's why they were both leaving. She said that they had talked about it and agreed that Charming was poison, that it would kill their relationship, and it would kill them. She told me that she had told Jax that she would get an abortion if he didn't leave with her."

I look at Gemma, her hand has tightened on the steering wheel and I know that I've just dumped a bit of information she hadn't even considered on her. "Bitch."

It's the only word that she can come up with at the moment, but I know that the torrent will break and the thoughts that are no doubt swirling inside her head will come out. I just hope it will wait till we're back in the car, not in the middle of Main Street with a box of sandwiches.

Minutes later we're pulling into the car park outside Lumpy's and Gemma is still stewing. Her fingers are tapping erratically on the steering wheel and she's randomly shaking her head or scowling. I know she's trying to organise her thoughts, and I also know she's only doing it so it doesn't seem like she's attacking me.

I step out of the car, and manage to walk straight into David standing outside the restaurant with a coffee in one hand and his radio in the other.

Looking at me like he wants to tell me to watch where I'm walking he does a double take then almost drops his coffee in an effort to hug me while holding the hot beverage.

Taking a step backwards I hold my hands up in surrender "I drink coffee, not wear it."

"You're back. Do Jacob and Dad know you're back?" David asks, attaching his radio back to his belt and hugging me now that he has an arm free.

"No, they don't know I'm back. And I don't really care if they ever know I'm back." I say, momentarily forgetting that Gemma is behind me in the car with the windows rolled down. "They never liked me, never liked my choices. When Jacob saw me packing my car to leave he said it was good riddance to bad rubbish and not to come back."

I feel more than hear the thud of Gemma's door closing as she rounds the car and looks at me, "You mean someone did know you were leaving, but he didn't tell anyone when we asked?"

I cringe at the shit storm I know Jacob will face if Gemma runs into him before she can be calmed down. "Yes, but in his defence I did ask him as a final thing for me to not tell anyone he knew that I was going, and he did not know where I was going."

Gemma sighs, and I know that Jacob doing that one favour for me has to get him out of her bad books on this, after all he was helping family, and that's the most important thing to her.

She throws open the door to Lumpy's ushers me inside then goes to the counter. About 15 minutes later, with the boxes of sandwiches in tucked back into the car with and enough soda for a small army we're back on the road and Gemma finally manages to articulate what she wanted to say about Tara.

"I know she wasn't pregnant. Jax would have known she wasn't pregnant. He did not want kids till he was well settled in the club, even Abel, though we all love him, has come too early in Jax's mind. I know one thing about him, he was always protecting himself from unwanted children, he wouldn't have had unprotected sex with anyone, even Tara, and even if she swore and declared she was on any sort of contraception. He would not have risked it. Tara knew that there was only one person in the world that he would leave Charming for. You. If you had asked him to go with you he would have, in a heartbeat. That boy may not have known it then but he loved you from the minute you threw up on his shoes in middle school. He didn't realise it, Tara knew it, and I knew it. That's why she came to you and told you that load of horse shit. I think the reason that Tara leaving hurt him so much wasn't even that it was Tara had left, it was that you had left."

I look over at Gemma and I'm stunned for a minute before I start to think through what she said. I can tell that she honestly believes what she's just said and I know that Jax was very anti-children before marriage, which was really ironic to me when he was fucking anything with two sets of lips. But I also knew back then that he was going through a giant box of condoms every week, if not more than that. I should know, being the one that had to go with him every time he'd buy them, always laughing at him when he'd ask if I wanted to help him check them for size.

"You know, I think, in some of that, you're right. She was planning to go to medical school; she wouldn't have wanted a baby. She may have wanted Jax to leave with her, but do you really think she would have lied to him to get him to go?"

"Oh baby, she never told him she was pregnant. She told you she was pregnant so you'd leave, knowing that if you were here and she left Jax would end up with you. Tara and you were friends till she got with Jax, weren't you?" Gemma asks, turning the wrong way to take the sandwiches to the garage.

I know she's doing it to give me time to think, but if I'm honest with myself the only person I want to talk to about this is sitting at home with her kids.

"Gemma, can we go back to the garage, I need to go back and help Donna." I ask her, knowing that she won't take it badly because Gemma remembers that it was me that got Donna to let go of her hatred of the club her husband was a member of, it's always been Donna that I turned to when I needed to voice things that I wasn't sure about. And likewise, Donna always came to me when she couldn't sort the mess in her head.

"Sure baby. Grab some food for you and Donna before you give it to the ravenous horde. And don't forget that cell; we all have the number for it now."

Reaching over her shoulder I pull a couple of sandwiches from the box and sit them on my lap. "Oh, and Sarah?" Gemma asks as she pulls in beside my car "We're going to talk about that." She states pointing at my car.

Rolling my eyes, knowing that Gemma isn't worried about the car, but more about how I probably drive the car having been on the receiving end of a countless number of middle of the night calls from me when I'd had my car taken by Unser for excessive speed and needed to get back home. The ancient Toyota that I'd had as a first car didn't look that flash but the work that Opie put into it when he was starting at the garage made it a hell of a lot faster then it looked.

"Relax Please Aunt Gemma." I say, pulling out the 'Aunt' again hoping to soften her towards my lead foot issues. "I haven't had a speeding ticket in forever. It was your son who always told me to go faster and called me a chicken."

"Is that so?" Gemma says, flicking her eyes to where Jax is leaning against a picnic table with a cigarette hanging from his fingertips.

"Yup." I reply with a bright smile, mentally crossing my fingers that she'll believe me. And that she wouldn't see the bundle of receipts for paid speeding tickets poking out of the centre console of my car.

Hopping out of her car and into mine I leave Teller-Morrow with the sounds of tyres screaming and guys cheering behind me, and a smoky view of Gemma shaking her head but grinning widely.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Pulling into Donna's driveway at a much more sedate speed then I left the garage I sit in the car for a minute, contemplating the information that Gemma so wholeheartedly believes is true.

When I finally work out what it is about her thoughts that bugs me so much I get out of the car and walk up to the front door. Standing there for a second I consider ringing the bell before I hear Donna call out that she's in the kitchen.

Opening the door I throw my shoes in the corner before walking to where she's standing "How did you know it was me, not someone else?"

Looking over her shoulder from where she's poking at a beef roast she says "I heard the car pull in, it was the same car I heard arrive last night, and the same car I heard leave this morning. Can you do _something_ with that? Opie wants a roast like his mom made, once, and I don't know what to do with it. The fact that Mary got one edible roast out of all the ones she made is a miracle but what the fuck am I doing with that hunk of dead cow?"

I grin at Donna, trying desperately not to laugh. "I can do something with it. Can you ask Ope, does he want it Mary inedible or Sarah edible." Laughing at Donna's face as she remembers the disastrous meal Mary had made trying to do a roast for her and Opie when they went to tell her they were having twins.

I watch Donna as she goes over to her bag and pulls a phone out. Flicking it open and pushing a button she holds it to her ear making a 'shushing' motion to me.

"Hey Baby. I'm doing that roast for you for dinner tonight, but it's black on the outside and still frozen on the inside. What do I do?" Donna manages to sound panicked and on the verge of tears while silently laughing.

I hear Opie's voice from the phone in an angry rush before Donna just can't hold it in anymore and lets a laugh out, followed by more until she actually has tears running down her cheeks. She holds the phone out to me and gasps "He said it'll be just like his mom's that way."

I take the phone from her; put it up to my ear just as Opie yells "Donna, what the fuck is going on?"

"Ow Ope, my ear! The roast is still thawing. I wanted Donna to ask you if you would like to enjoy eating this roast, or with us throwing it out and you getting fast food on the way home?"

Opie makes an apologetic sound in my ear but still sounds irritated when he snaps "I'd like it to be edible of course."

"So, you don't want your mothers roast beef at all. You want my roast beef?" I ask, still trying to be patient with him as he's grumbling down the phone.

"Whoever's roast beef it is. I want it for dinner, and I want it to be edible." I hear a voice behind Opie yell 'me too.' before Opie comes back to the phone and says "Jax says he wants it to be edible too."

"Okay, well it will be ready at 6:30 whether you are here or not." I say, snapping Donna's phone closed and throwing it back in her bag.

Donna eventually manages to pull herself off the floor as I'm rummaging in the pantry looking for spices and herbs. Looking over my shoulder where Donna is now peeling the wrapping of a sandwich I ask her if she's got any spices which she nods and says "Yup, both of them. Salt and Pepper."

"Oh my god, are you kidding me?" I know I sound like a spoilt child, but I can't believe that she wouldn't have some simple dried herbs, but then I remember her husband. The gigantic man who thinks that pasta is exotic.

Resigning myself to a trip to the market later I sit at the table with her and pick at my sandwich while spilling out the thoughts that have been trying to form coherently since leaving Gemma.

"Gemma told me that Jax would have left with me if I'd asked him. She seems to think that he's loved me for almost as long as I've loved him. I don't know; she's under this impression that Tara knew she'd have to get me out of town before she left or we'd have ended up together."

Donna looks at me for a second before swallowing and says in that no nonsense way she seems to have picked up from Gemma since I left "And, she's right about it all. Tara knew that you would help put Jax back together when she left, and she knew that it would be a stronger Jax that came out of the end of it. She also knew that you two loved each other, even if he didn't know it and you couldn't tell him cause of her. She eliminated her competition, and thought that she could get him to leave after that. Did you know that she was the one that told Jax you'd gone? The day after you left, none of us had thought about it yet, we thought you had gone to the cabin for a few days, but she waltzed up to him in the middle of the garage and said 'She's gone, she left town.' Then she turned around, got back in her car and left, Jax followed her."

Donna stops talking and bites of a huge corner of her sandwich, chewing and swallowing before continuing. "Ope told me that when Jax found her she said that you had told her you were leaving, that you hated Charming and you'd been counting down the days till you could go. Then she told him that she was leaving the following day and that she hoped he'd come with her. Which he didn't, he stayed here hoping she was lying. He was the last one to stop waiting for you to come back. I mean, I told him you'd said you were happy where you were, even if you wouldn't tell me where you were." With that Donna stood up and threw her lunch rubbish in the bin and left the room, leaving me sitting at her table lost in thought.

30 minutes later I finally manage to break my train of thought with a shake of my head. Standing up from the table and putting my barely touched lunch in the bin I do a quick check of the beef to make sure it's defrosted.

Walking to the lounge where I find both Donna and Mary sitting quietly watching the twins play I'm a bit surprised, knowing of Mary's dislike of all things club related and that Donna is a very protective Old Lady. I guess their mutual love of Opie and the children playing on the floor have managed to make their relationship function.

Smiling over at Donna she quirks an eyebrow at me and I just shake my head, knowing that the revelations that have happened in my mind don't change a thing about where we are now, and that history is just that.

"Well, I have to go to the market to get some things for dinner." I say heading towards the door.

Donna turns to Mary and asks, "Are you staying for dinner, we're having roast beef."

Seeing the slight shudder in Mary's shoulders she sounds almost scared when she asks, "Who's cooking, please don't murder it like I did."

I just laugh and say "That would be me."

Donna pokes her tongue out at me and turns to Mary, "Yes, she who has spent the last 4 years in culinary school and as a chef in New York is cooking tonight so it better be good."

Mary grins widely and says "Then yes, I will stay for dinner. Donna you go with her to the market, I'll stay here with the kids."

Donna jumps up and the pair of us head towards the door, as it's starting to close behind us we hear Mary mutter to the twins "Troubles back."

Turning to Donna I say, "She means you, I'm too sweet to be called trouble."

Donna almost falls over from laughing so hard, "She said 'trouble's back' I never left, so it's gotta be you."

"Shit, you got me there. And I always thought Mary liked me." Sliding into the passenger's seat of Donna's car I move a few toys to the back-seat and tuck them between the car seats

"She does like you; she also likes your double chocolate fudge brownies with ice cream and whipped cream. Or your banoffee pie, or your chocolate everything slice." Donna grins looking at me out the corner of her eye.

"Umm, no. That was hmmmm you. She liked my meringue nests with cream and fruit. She also liked the stuffed apples. And the baked Alaska. However, because I feel generous I will make something for dessert tonight, but it won't be anything you've tried before."

Hearing a jingle from my bag I pick it up and rummage through before finding the phone Gemma had handed me earlier. Looking at the display I see a number that I don't know, but that doesn't surprise me cause I don't know any numbers of the Sons. Flipping it open I put the phone to my ear and hear nothing but masculine moans and rhythmic sounds of flesh hitting flesh.

Pulling it away I push the button for speaker and say "Someone pocket dialled me while going at it."

Donna starts laughing at me and both of us can't control the giggles but then a very familiar voice comes over the phone drawing one syllable out till it sounds like 5. "Jax."

Then Jax's voice comes over and both Donna and I hear him command, "Do that again."

I flick the phone closed and look at Donna. "Maybe it wasn't a pocket dial after all. She wanted to remind me who Jax is fucking."


	7. Chapter 7

AN: You're getting this chapter a day early cause my buffer of chapters just went up after a very productive day writing. :-) Next update should still be tomorrow night.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Parking her car in the market car park Donna looks at me and opens her mouth, then closes it again, before opening it "Do you really think Tara did that on purpose?"

I look at her, opening my door to get out, "I think she did it on purpose the second she could get Jax hard and in her pussy. He would have told her I'm back and she will be trying to get me to leave again. She's done this before."

Donna comes round the car after locking the doors and says "When?"

"She pulled this a few times before I left. I would randomly get phone calls from Jax in the middle of the night, which wasn't actually uncommon. It was the only time that he could talk to me without her badgering him. I didn't think much of it the first time, I just hung up and told Jax to be careful pocket dialling the next time I saw him."

"The second time it happened was my birthday dinner; we'd decided to have it early cause of Uncle Jacob. Jax was meant to be coming over to have dinner with us. You and Opie were already there, and I'd held dinner for an hour before my phone rang. I left the room, cause I intended on yelling at him about being so late. But all I heard was Tara, laughing and giggling before Jax groaned and said something about liking her on her knees."

Donna follows me into the market, steering me to the herbs and mutters "I remember that, you were so pissed off when you came back out that you almost massacred the chicken. But you wouldn't tell either Opie or I where Jax was. You just said he was sorry but he got busy and wouldn't make it."

Rummaging through the various boxes of dried herbs I shake my head and wander to the produce hoping that they have some fresh ones that are at least usable. Donna comes up beside me and asks "Was that it, just the 2 times?"

I laugh, but even to me the sound is obnoxiously loud and negative sounding. "No, god I wish. It happened another 3 times before my dinner with Uncle Jacob, when I turned my phone off. But when I turned it on there was a message of them. She asked him if it was better than what he had planned. I didn't wait for the answer, I just deleted it."

Donna is starting to look even more pissed off then I felt that night, while I calmly select a Parsley, Basil and Rosemary plants before moving to the garlic. "Then there was once on New Year's morning, and once more the day I started applying to the out of state schools. So all up I must have had 7 calls like that. Then the last message she left me was just after Jax had fallen asleep the night she'd told me she was pregnant. She rang me again off his phone, but she actually spoke to me that time. She told me that they'd had an amazing night, that I hadn't been mentioned once and that they were planning on leaving the following day and they'd picked names for their baby. Then she said she hoped I had a nice life, and that I could get over her being better than me."

My phone rings again just as we're leaving the store and I wait till I'm safely in Donna's car before answering it. Not surprised at all when I hear Tara's voice "I'm still better than you, and he'll never be yours. Just do everyone a favour and leave town. But don't come back this time."

The call disconnects and I am sorely tempted to throw the phone into the path of oncoming traffic, but then I realise that it's the only number that Cam and Al know to contact me on so I slowly close the phone and bury it under everything in my bag.

Looking over to Donna I'm surprised to see her knuckles are white and she looks like she could breathe steam.

Tapping her on the shoulder I say "Hey, don't worry about her. I am so over Jax, I just hope that my friend can be happy."

Donna snorts, "Bullshit, you're still so in love with him that little hearts float around your head when you think of him."

Blushing under the knowledge that even after 4 years apart my best friend still knows me almost as well as I know myself I shrug, "Ok, so I still love him. I always will, but I've learnt that not everything you love is good for you."

Turning into the driveway of the Winston's house a few minutes later Donna turns to me, with a very serious look on her face and tells me, "We are going to get that tramp out of Charming for good. But I'm just not sure how. She has to leave knowing that Jax hates her. We just need to get him to really look at Abel's notes, I'm sure that's the key to it all."

I nod at her, not wanting to voice the thoughts that Tara would have covered her bases with Jax if someone else's name is on Abel's notes, that after everything she's done that would just be a stupid mistake. But then, she's made stupid mistakes before. Leaving without Jax was one of them, but it was also a mistake I made. But I wasn't leaving again, and I was sure that Tara would have to go back to Chicago at some point.

Climbing out of the car with the bag of mediocre herbs the market had I'm struck with a thought. Gasping out loud I turn to Donna, "What if she shows up tonight?"

Donna just grins and says, "Have you forgotten who I'm married to? Ope never made a secret of his dislike of Tara back then it didn't get any better when she came back. Jax knows not to bring her here. Ope told him, when she showed up again, that she better stay out of my eyesight cause of how she treated both you and I back then. Jax didn't understand what he meant till Opie told him that the only reason Tara walked out of Charming back when she was a teenager was that I was pregnant and couldn't kick her ass to the bus myself."

I can't help the mental image of Donna, hugely pregnant chasing Tara down the road with steel capped boots on threatening to 'kick her over state lines.'

Still chuckling I go straight into the Winston's kitchen and spend the next 45 minutes immersed in my chosen trade, relaxing my mind and letting the routine behaviour of peeling, chopping, grating and stirring lull me into the most relaxed I'd been since driving out of New York a week earlier.

The occasional mutter from me to the lounge about Donna's shitty knives and useless oven causes her and Mary to both come into the kitchen after putting the twins down for an afternoon nap. Wearing identical quizzical expressions it looks like one is going to ask something but then, they note the mess I have made over most of the cooking surface in the tiny kitchen.

Plonking herself at the table Mary looks at me and says "Didn't they teach you to clean up after yourself?"

Glancing around the bench I smile at her and cheekily reply "This is cleaner then when I started."

I feel a smack on the shoulder as Donna walks past me and starts clearing some of the dirty dishes to the dishwasher.

Glaring at her I pull my keys from my bag and head out to my car. Coming back in seconds later holding what appears to be a camping roll Donna looks slightly interested in what I'm doing, putting a last cup in and turning the dishwasher on as I snap open the clips on my case and flick it along the length of the table Mary looks down and says "Gee, do you want a few more knives with your assassins kit?"

Poking my tongue out at her I pull one of the 12 perfectly sharpened knives from its protective pocket and tuck the plastic back in before closing my knife roll and clicking its clips closed again. "It's one of the tools of my trade." I grin, turning back to the kitchen where Donna's dish clearing has done a remarkable change to the bench space available.

Blowing her an air kiss I wink at Mary, "Donna, you'll make someone an awesome wife...when you learn to cook."

Donna attempts to growl at me which just makes me laugh more before going back to the herbs I was trying to chop without bruising. Feeling the smooth motions of my own knives, and seeing the clean cuts being left behind makes me sigh and Donna looks at me like she's going to call the men in white coats. Still giggling slightly I look over at her, "Sharp knives make clean cuts, dull knives...like most of yours, leave the herbs bruised which does make a difference, trust me."

Donna just nods like I'm insane, which I possibly am, and the pair of them leaves the kitchen again, but not before Mary throws over her shoulder, "We'll come back in an hour to clean up again."


	8. Chapter 8

All outfits mentioned through this story willbe found here. Please let me know if it doesnt' work: user/Cassiesmum02/library/Hale%20Charming%20photos ?sort=3&evt=email_share&page=1

CHAPTER EIGHT

Over an hour later when Mary and Donna come back into the kitchen it's almost completely clean again, the smells of the herbs are coming from the oven and there is a pile of fresh cupcakes cooling on the bench. The only bit of mess they can find is the peelings in a bowl and the veges floating in the sink.

"Sorry D, but you're now out of potatoes, carrots and broccoli. We'll have to go shopping tomorrow. But, please tell me that Charming on the Green is still there?"

Donna nods, "Yep, and they still buy most of the fruit and veges from within California."

The tiny green grocer in town had always been like that preferring, like most of the people who lived here, to pay a little more and buy local.

Glancing at the clock on the wall I note that the roast should be ready in about an hour, going to the oven I peek in and see that it's time to put the veges in. After adding the veges and announcing it'll be about 90 minutes till we eat I pour a glass of the wine that Donna had in the fridge.

The three of us go back to the lounge and play with the twins for a while before we hear the sound of a bike coming down the road. Donna smiles widely and jumps up to get her husband a beer as he opens the door.

Opie looks around his lounge and accepts the can Donna holds out. Holding another in her other hand she looks past him, "Where's Jax?"

"Don't know, he took off from the garage about 3 hours ago and we haven't seen him since, he swore he'd be here for dinner though."

I can't help but snort as I get up and say "Yep, heard that before. Well, regardless of if he's here or not dinner will be ready in 30 minutes."

Heading into the kitchen I lean against the wall just inside the door for a second before going to the oven and pulling the roast out, wrapping it in tin foil I start making gravy, hoping that the simple tasks that I've become so used to will calm my mind.

25 minutes later, Jax still hasn't shown up and I'm about to put the last dishes on the table. The roast is carved, the potatoes are perfectly crunchy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside. I walk into the lounge and announce dinners ready.

Opie shoots a look at the door, before pulling his phone out, calling to find out where his absent best friend is. Hearing the phone ring with no answer doesn't surprise me in the slightest and I just shrug to Opie's look and say, "It's ready now, I'm not keeping it warm, it'll be ruined."

Plonking the twins in their chairs at their little table with a slice of meat, a carrot, potato and spear of broccoli each I leave it up to their parents to decide on the issue of gravy, but I haven't bothered with plates for the pair, having learnt that morning with breakfast that their plates end up on the floor and food ends up on the table anyway.

Donna pours a little gravy for each them and Kenny seems to delight in slapping his hand down in it until he gets a little on his lip and realises that it tastes good and tries to stuff his whole hand in his mouth. The four adults are laughing so hard that none of us hear the sound of the door open, or footsteps in the hall till Jax's voice from behind me makes me startle in my seat "What's so funny?"

Opie looks at his best friend, then the clock, which is currently pointing out that it's 6:40, I guess the twins had us entertained for a bit longer than we realised.

"Yeah, I know, I'm late. Sorry guys." Jax doesn't offer any reason, and I'm sure I'm the only one to notice that he's brought in the smell of weed and whiskey. Thankful that he seems to have showered since Tara's call earlier lightens my mind a bit, but I'm still more irritated with him then I have the right to be.

Filling my plate with what I know will be a perfect roast meal I look up and meet Mary's eyes, surprised at how aware she seems of the issue between Jax and me. I shake my head at her but then look over at Opie, "Hey, why isn't your old man here?"

Opie shrugs, "I did tell him to come for dinner, but I think he was planning on staying at the Clubhouse tonight."

"Oh, well I'll put a plate together and take it over after dinner." I offer, knowing that as soon as I've finished eating that will give me an excuse to leave for a while.

Jumping up I grab a plate, fill it with food for Piney then place it on the kitchen counter with foil over it to keep it warm.

Opie looks over at his wife and says "Well I hope this is good." Before shoving a massive forkful of meat and gravy into his mouth. Watching his eyes close and hearing the appreciative noise he makes as he tastes it is one of the greatest things about feeding friends, being able to see the enjoyment of something you've made really does make the hard work worth it.

After he's chewed and swallowed he grins and me and says "You know, maybe I should marry you too. Then I'd have Donna to clean, and entertain me. And you could cook."

I feel Jax minutely stiffen beside be but I crack up. "Ope, didn't Donna and I tell you in high school you could only have one of us. Neither of us shares."

Donna grins and after swallowing her own bite, "I'm not sure there Sarah, maybe I could make an exception."

I just laugh and start my own meal, my chef's mind always analysing the herbs and if the balance is right or not. Listening to the cutlery clinking and the sounds of my friends eating makes me think that it must be good enough. "Oh and there is dessert too, so don't eat too much."

Jax's eyes light up, "What did you make?"

I remember that he loved the baking I used to do compulsively every weekend as a teenager, in the years of friendship I never found something he didn't like. "I made cupcakes."

Jax looks slightly disappointed, "But you can't feed cupcakes to bikers."

"Oh well, I guess us women and the kids will have to eat them all. But they are chocolate with marshmallow frosting." I say, probably ruder then I intended.

"Hey, speak for yourself there Jax, I intend on eating cupcakes with my family for dessert." Opie says, and I wonder for a second if he realises how challenging that sounds. But then I look at him and our eyes meet, the grin hiding in his eyes showing that he knows exactly what he's saying to Jax. The challenge seems to be hanging in the air, will Jax stay with his family and have 'girlie' dessert, or will he bail again.

"Besides, Jax, you don't get dessert until you've eaten dinner." I point out that he has yet to try anything and wonder if the reason he's late is that Tara knew he was coming for dinner and fed him first.

He picks up his knife and fork, looks at his plate then says "I'm starving." As if to prove his point even though he was the last started, he was the first finished.

Through dinner we manage to make small conversation, Donna asking me more about my artwork, and Mary asking about chef's school. Jax and Opie seem to be having a silent question over all our heads and we just ignore them till they decide to join our vocal conversation which happens just as I am talking to Mary about my latest tattoo.

"It's still being done, I've only got the outline so far, but Al, my tattoo artist, is coming down with Cam so I should be able to get it finished. I'm really glad it's summer though, I learnt about getting tattoo's that require you to be naked in winter the hard way."

Jax knife clatters to his plate and he looks at me but doesn't say a word. I wonder silently if it's due to the fact I have tattoos that required me to be naked during the inking process, or if it's completely unrelated to what I've just said. Finally deciding it's not my problem if he has issues with me and my choice of body parts to be inked.

Opie looks at me and asks what I know he's wanted to ask all night, "Are you okay, you seem a bit annoyed?"

I shrug and reply "I got pocket dialled earlier today. Some people just need to be careful when they butt dial while going at it." I shoot a glare at Jax and he looks surprised before patting his pockets.

Finding his phone he pulls it open, checks something and says "Wasn't me, this time, I haven't done that since I was a teenager."

I shoot a glance at Donna which Jax sees and miss-interprets; he passes me his phone and tells me that I can check if I want. Pushing back from the table I go over to the kitchen bench and retrieve my phone then sit back down with them both. Opening his phone, I go to his phone book and note that my name has been saved in there, with a number that isn't familiar to me, so I guess it's the phone Gemma gave me and give it a test call which causes the silver phone in my left hand to vibrate with his number across it. Ending the call I open my phone and select the 'received calls'. Scrolling down through Jax's phone book I compare Tara's number and the one that dialled my phone today. I'm not sure if I should be even slightly surprised when they match.

Closing Jax's phone I pass it back to him and say "Wasn't you, that's for sure. I think I'll just have to stop answering numbers I don't know."

Sitting the phone on the table again I finish my dinner and go back to the kitchen, taking a pile of dirty dishes with me. Looking over at Piney's plate I pick it up, stick my head into the dining room and let them know where I'm going and that I'll be back in 15 minutes.

Donna looks over from where she's loading the dishwasher and asks quietly, "Do you want me to come?"

I think about it for a minute before I realise that having her there will be both a blessing and a curse. She won't care about the stop I plan on making on my way back, but she will care if I get arrested. I nod, and she puts the last plate in the washer before letting Opie know she's coming to and that they can hold dessert till we get back.

Climbing into my car Donna looks at me and says, "Take the old man his dinner before you go and kick some Doctor ass."

Grinning over at my best friend I can't help but be thankful she didn't even try and talk me out of it, but I nod and turn the car in the direction of the garage.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Bonus chapter cause I'm in a good mood. It's a public holiday where I live and I don't have to work tonight. :-)

Spending 10 minutes at the garage listening to Piney compliment my cooking put us over the 15 minutes I wanted to be, but when Donna's phone rang on the way to Tara's house she answered it and told Opie that we were held up talking to Piney and would be there soon, but to have a cupcake if they were starving.

I heard Opie saying they would wait as we turned onto Tara's street. Donna closed her phone as I pulled up to the curb then looked at me, "What exactly are you going to do?"

I shrugged at her, "Honestly, I'm not sure. I guess I want to remind her that she's not 18 anymore, and that neither am I. But I also want her to realise that I am not "

I unclip my seatbelt and step out, hearing Donna get out as well. Walking up the path to the door seems to be the longest walk I've made in a very long time, and the corners of my eyes note that the house really needs some major work done. Pressing on the doorbell gets us nothing, so I knock, hard instead.

When the door opens she's standing there in one of Jax's SAMCRO T-shirts and a pair of lounge pants. Leaning against her door frame she looks me up and down and snaps "What, did you come to say goodbye this time?"

I feel my hands tighten into fists and have to relax before I can open my mouth, remembering that Jax just ate dinner I cooked makes me smile at her before I open my mouth. "No, I'm not leaving. But you are. You'll go back to your fancy school in Chicago, back to your medicine that is more important to you than family, and you'll leave Jax here. But this time I'll be here, so when he realises that you're just a pussy that left, again, I'll be there. When he realises that you're not coming back, I'll be there. When his son turns 1, I'll be there. When he is ready for a real relationship, with a REAL Old Lady, I'll be there. And when he gets married, I'll be the one right there beside him taking vows with him. When he decides he wants more children, I'll be there. So, Tara, you may have him at the moment. But he will be mine, he's always been mine, you're just fighting with his destiny and making him wait. But thank you for letting him have his 'wandering' ways now with you, cause it means I know when he gets to his forever he won't want to go anywhere else."

With that, I smile at her and go back to my car.

Donna slips into the passenger seat beside me and claps as I start the car. "That was great. I thought she was going to pass out, she went so red. I don't think I've ever seen anyone look like a fish before."

Turning the corner I hear my phone ring from my bag and just ignore it, knowing that she would have got her composure back and want to say something. But at the moment I feel so great that I can't help but grin like a Cheshire cat at Donna.

Driving in silence back to Donna's house I can't stop smiling, but when we pull into the driveway and Jax is standing outside looking mad and smoking the smile falls from my face. Climbing out of the car I walk over to him and ask "What's wrong?" thinking that he and Opie had another stupid fight.

He grabs my arm, pulls me into the porch light and examines my hands, checking over my knuckles carefully before doing the same to Donna.

Finally having had enough when he shoves my arm into the light to check my elbows I pull my arm away and snap, "What the fuck is wrong with you, I am not a doll you can manipulate till you're happy with its position."

He lights another smoke and glares at me before barking out, "Donna, go inside."

Donna walks past me and gives me a look, "I'm fine, I'll be in in a minute." I say as she turns the door knob.

Jax turns to me as I sit on the step and seems to relax a bit. "Why did Tara just ring me and tell me that you and Donna showed up at her house?"

"Cause we did. I needed to let her know to lock her phone before she fucks."

Jax's expression twists for a second before he shakes his head. "What did you think you would accomplish by punching her in the nose?" He asks me, seeming at the end of a wick I didn't know was burning.

"I didn't touch her, neither of us did. I simply told her a few home truths then left. We were only there for maybe 2 minutes. And we didn't go anywhere other than her front porch. Ask her nosy neighbour that's was looking out the window. He saw us arrive, talk, then leave." I snap at him, my temper frayed from seeing Tara has snapped now that I'm being questioned like then enemy.

"Really, you expect me to believe you went there, talked to a woman you hate and then calmly left? Shit Sarah, we all know that you used to excel at breaking noses." Jax seems surprised that I want him to believe the truth, throwing the 3 peoples noses I broke in high school back at me doesn't help my mood, but then he doesn't know the reason those noses got broken.

"You know what, if you don't believe me that's fine, but we didn't touch her, all that went between her and I was words. She said 1 sentence to me; I told her what I went there to say, though I did have to stop myself from hitting her just from her 1 sentence."

I push past him and turn the doorknob, intending to go inside when I hear Jax's phone ring. Pausing to see who it is I'm not surprised when I hear Tara's voice, high pitched; she seems like she's hysterical after our visit, "Did you find out why she hit me? What have I ever done to her?"

Jax looks over at me, still standing there, with un-bruised knuckles and meets my eyes before sighing down the phone, "She said she didn't touch you that neither of them did."

"Then why is my nose bleeding at my eye is already swelling closed!? Did I do this to myself? I was sitting here, watching TV and waiting till you got back when she showed up at my door and hit me." Tara's voice is rising in volume as she screams more.

Walking back to Jax I pull the phone from his hand, put it near my mouth, but so that he can still hear what I say, and Tara's reply, "I didn't hit you, I didn't touch anything near you, apart from knocking _on_ your front door. Neither did Donna, so I'm not sure why your nose is bleeding, or your eye is messed up. Maybe you threw yourself into the door to make it seem likely that we did hit you. But let me ask you something."

I hear Tara make a small noise and know she's listening, "Of all the people that you know, don't you think Jax would know what knuckles that have thrown a punch look like? Mine look exactly the same as they did when I sat next to him and ate dinner."

Handing the phone back to Jax I open the door and say, "If you want a cupcake, I'll be here."

Closing the door behind me I sag against it but quickly gather myself and move to the kitchen where Donna is retelling what happened at Tara's.

Opie stands, pulls my hands out and examines my knuckles as well before nodding, "I knew she was full of shit when he answered and she burst into tears. She was always good at crocodile tears."

Grabbing the cupcakes off the bench I'm surprised when I hear the front door open and close, but then realise that Jax's kutte is still hanging on the back of the door. He steps into the room and slips it over his shoulders while, holding the phone, which is still glowing like it's in mid-call

"Sorry, but she's completely hysterical. She's insisting that she needs to go to the hospital, but that she can't drive herself. So I told her I'd be there in a few minutes." Jax says to Donna and Opie, ignoring me completely, putting the phone down while he shrugs on his kutte.

"That's okay Jax; we'll be here if you want to come back later." I said, grinning at Donna. I know the grin is malicious, after all the fact that he's in the kitchen and there are 4 of us in there, other than Jax doesn't travel down the phone line. All Tara would have heard would be Jax making excuses to leave furniture moving and me speaking.

Jax walked out the door and I collapsed into a pool of giggles at the table. Opie and Mary both looking at me slightly warily while Donna finally finished recreating the speech I'd made to Tara.

On hearing that I'd managed to repeat the words that were probably driving her mad Opie shakes his head, "I really am glad your back, everything is much more interesting with you around."

"Why thank you, cupcake?" I offer, holding the plate out to him.

Once we're all situated at the table with coffee and cupcakes watching the twins demolish theirs I look at Donna and say "I'll be here D."


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thank you to all those that are reviewing this story. It's my first attempt at writing anything since high school (over 10 years ago) and I'm glad that people are enjoying it. All feedback is most welcome. Special thank you to Legolasgirl who has reviewed almost every chapter so far, there will be a character in the future named after you if you'd like. :-) With that said on to:**

CHAPTER TEN

I've never voluntarily been a morning person, to me the day doesn't start till 11am, at the earliest so when I was awake for the second morning in a row at 7am without the alarm that used to scare me awake I was amazed at myself, but also at how rested I felt since arriving back in Charming.

Heading out to the kitchen I find Opie about pick up a cupcake. "Freeze mister. Those are going to the garage today."

Turning to look over his shoulder at me Opie smiles guiltily, putting the cupcake back into the tray. "Fine, I'll have toast for breakfast then."

"Sit down and I'll make something." I tell him, turning towards the fridge and opening the door. 5 minutes later Donna walks out following the twins, who were following the smell of food; I set a plate down in front of Opie and turn back to the stove.

Donna sniffs as she stepped through the door, "We're all going to get fat if you keep cooking for us."

I look at her and her tiny frame before pushing a plate towards her and heading towards the twins with a small bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other. Splitting the omelette between the two I turned back to Donna and said, "You will not put on weight with what I cook, unless you eat too much."

Gathering my own plate from the bench I take a seat at the table and start eating as Donna and Opie talked about normal things, groceries, the electricity bill and the maintenance her car needed.

"Your car is going to be off the road at least 2 days while we do the service, brakes and tyres. You'll have to use the truck." Opie said, giving Donna a look telling her not to argue.

"But, Ope, I can't put the twins in your truck." Donna exclaimed.

I sat quietly not wanting to but in but I had a solution to their problem, due to arrive that night. "Hey guys, can I offer to help?"

Opie looks over and said with a grin, "Your car isn't any better for kids then my truck."

"Smarty pants, I am aware of that, however my other car will be arriving tonight with Cam and Al, and it is kid friendly, well car-seat friendly." I said, poking my tongue out at him, suddenly feeling like a teenager again with the amount of smart ass comments that had been coming out of my mouth since my re-arrival.

"Other car?" Donna looked over, "What on earth do you need more than one car for, what did you need one car for in New York, I thought it was an awful place to park and drive?"

"The apartment building we lived had 2 car parking spaces for each apartment, and Cam didn't have a car. But I treated myself to my Challenger when I finished my first year of school. The Nitro, which is on its way with my dog, and my stuff, was brought when I got my dog, he didn't cope well with the confined space in the back." I explained, knowing that one of them would have some sort of protest, sure enough.

"You brought a car for a DOG?" Donna sounds stunned and annoyed at the same time.

"No, I didn't buy the car FOR the dog, I brought the car cause he tried to eat the inside of my Challenger, and I didn't want that. I do use it for more than the dog, it has been used to move multiple people, it's been used when I went to Maine, and it's been used for holidays." I stutter, knowing that the explanation isn't going to make it seem any more logical, they won't get it till Cam and Al arrive and they actually see how big my dog is, and see the extensive modifications that my 4x4 has had over the years I've owned it.

Looking at the clock on the wall I wonder if the two are on the road again yet and where they are, thinking about Doj has really made me miss the fur ball, this having been the longest voluntary separation since I got him at 10 weeks old, 3 years ago both in distance and time.

Watching Opie shovel the last of his breakfast into his mouth I stand up and take all the dishes to the sink, "I'm going to take those cupcakes to the garage today, then go shopping for food. And I'll have to stop and book Al and Cam in at the hotel till I can find somewhere to live."

Donna looks up, "We can go see Mandy, if you want to wait till after Neeta gets here?"

"Who's Neeta?" I ask, having not heard the name since my re-arrival.

"She's the nanny that Gemma insisted I get for 2 days a week so I can get the normal everyday stuff done, you know. Groceries, errands, that sort of thing. Of course, she comes in on a Friday as well so that I am free for the Friday night party at the Clubhouse." Donna smiled at that, knowing that without Neeta she'd only ever see her husband and their friends in the same place at Gemma's at her Sunday night dinners.

"Right. Time to go." Opie announces, pulling on his kutte and gloves. Kissing his wife and kids as he walks past and leaving in a roar of a Harley motor.

Being around Donna and her kids this morning, instead of telling my story to a Redwood table and its occupants, makes me realise just how much work Donna does. In the 2 hours between when Opie leaves and Neeta arrives Donna manages to bath and dress both kids, unload last night's dishes, and reload this morning's ones, showers and puts a load of washing into the machine before sitting down to play with the kids for an hour.

Neeta walks in the door at exactly 10am, closing the door firmly behind her which causes both kids to look up from the blocks they were stacking around their mother.

Forgetting the task they had been engrossed in the pair run to Neeta and wrap themselves around her legs. Chuckling she attempts to walk to the lounge with 2 limpet mines slowing her down.

Donna stands, sweeps the blocks into a big pile then walks over, pulls Kenny and Ellie off Neeta's legs so she can walk and introduces me all while pulling her jacket on and grabbing her bag, and motioning me to get the cupcakes from the kitchen.

"There are 3 cupcakes left in the plate cupboard, they can have one after lunch, but you can have yours whenever you'd like. Sarah made them, they are amazing."

Being shoved out of the house in front of Donna I find us both standing at the end of the driveway looking at each other with car keys in hand. She laughs, throws her keys in her bag and says, "I'm not driving my piece of shit when you can drive yours."

"Hey, my car isn't a piece of shit." I laugh, knowing exactly what she means.

"Bitch please; my car would scare the paint of yours." Donna laughs, sliding into the passenger seat and heaving a sign when the leather wraps around her.

Slotting they key in the ignition I look at her, "Yeah, only cause it would be terrified of rusting off."

Starting the car I can't help but hope that things don't get strange when my New York friends show up in the tiny town of Charming. Neither Al nor Cam have ever been in a town of more than 50,000 people other than driving through, and well, Charming has 15,000 people, 2 born and bred New Yorkers are going to stick out like a sore thumb.

I shrug to myself and realise that it doesn't matter what either of them think, cause I don't think they'll stay more than a few days before flying back to New York and their lives there.

Heading towards the garage I drop the cupcakes in the office, handing them to Gemma, knowing that only she will make sure they are evenly gifted.

I turn to go back out the door when she holds a hand up till she's finished on the phone.

"What the fuck happened last night at Tara's?" she asks looking at me sternly.

"I went there, I talked, and I left." I answer her, not entirely sure what she means, but having a feeling I'm about to find out.

"She went to the hospital last night, she's got a broken nose and cracked eye socket. She said you punched her." Gemma looks over the top of her glasses, using her 'don't bullshit me' face that always scared me as a teenager.

"Look, Gem, I don't know what happened to her after we left, but she was fine. Donna can back up my story, and so can her neighbour, some guy who was looking out his window from the time my car pulled up till the time we left again...maybe after that, I don't know." I'm slightly annoyed that for the 3rd time in 12 hours I'm explaining that I didn't hit her, even as much as I wanted to.

"Jax isn't thinking clearly about this, he knows that you wouldn't punch her, but he also knows that he got there last night and she was a mess. She's still in St Thomas' now." Gemma says confusion evident in her tone.

I shrug, "Not my problem, I didn't put her there."

Turning around I step out of the office when I feel eyes on me. Looking over at the garage I see Tig watching me carefully, before he comes out of the bay he's in and walks over. Holding out his hand I'm not sure what he wants, but he grips my hand and shakes it firmly.

"What?" I can't figure out what he wants, and I'm not sure if he'll tell me.

"Congratulations for laying out the Doctor Skank."

"I didn't touch that bitch; god knows what I would have caught."

Tig bursts out laughing and becomes the 4th person in 12 hours to assume, and the 3rd Son to examine my knuckles and discover them completely unbruised. "Nope, you didn't touch her."

"Ask her neighbour, that's what I keep saying. Donna and I went there, I talked, Tara acted like a one of those singing fish with its sound box removed, and we left. The guy right next to her, which can see to her front door, was watching the whole time I was there."

I've had enough by now so I stomp to my car and for the second time in 2 days I leave rubber on the lot of TM, Donna holding on to the sides of her seat, eyes wide, I guess she doesn't like speed as much as she used to.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Happy Halloween all. Here's a bonus chapter.

Driving out of Charming I head towards Stockton, needing the calming state the rumble of my engine and the road feel of my car gives me.

"You alright?" Donna asks after 10 minutes of silence, her grip has lessened on the leather seats and she seems to have relaxed.

"Nope, everyone seems to think that I punched that bitch. Jax, Gemma, Tig, fuck even Opie thought it for a minute last night when we came back. I don't know what the hell she did to herself but she's got a broken nose, and cracked her eye socket." I exclaim angrily, feeling my foot go a bit further down on the accelerator.

"Hey, calm down, we know you didn't do anything." Donna says, "Once they work that out you'll have a line of them wanting to be the first to apologise." She ends with a soft smile.

"I know, but the fact that they have forgotten so much about me kind of irritates. I was so anti-violence back then, why would I suddenly be all for punching someone who said something wrong?" I ask, hoping that Donna will give me an answer that stops the Ferris wheel of confusion that is circling in my head.

"Apart from the noses you broke. You know it would make it much easier for everyone if they knew why those people got punched." Donna's trying to remind me that while her and I both know why I broke 3 girls noses in high school not a single person other than her heard the vile things that were said to me before the punches where thrown.

"Sarah, when you left, you were also anti-tattoo, anti-piercing, anti-kids, anti-marriage, I think if you could have been you would have been anti-anti. You were so against everything except driving fast, getting drunk and getting high." Donna says; reminding me just how messed up a teenager I was.

"You seem to have lost the anti-tattoo judging by the amount you display. You're definitely not anti-piercing; I can count at least 9 from here. I know you're not anti-kid...you never really were, but you wanted everyone to think you hated them, after your childhood I'm not surprised really."

"In fact, S, the only thing I can still see about you that is the same is the love of speed. But because I've been in contact with you this whole time I saw things change, you mellowed out a lot. I think for you leaving Charming was the best thing that you could do at the time, even if now it seems like you should have stayed. But, please, let everyone else catch up with the new you." Donna finishes, sounding like she's going to cry.

I glance over at her and realise that she possibly will if she doesn't get control of herself. Putting my hand over hers on the seat I remind her "D, I left everything in Charming when I went to New York. I reinvented myself as a new person, I had to. New York would have eaten me alive and spat out the pieces. But I'm back now, I'm not going away again, so everyone will have the rest of my life to get used to the new me, and how much I'm not the old me, bar a few things. I kept most of the old me, but the things that have changed are ones that I guess I was hiding all along. I was anti so many things because everyone around us," I say, motioning between her and myself, "accepted it all as the norm. I didn't want to be another chick hanging around the garage who becomes a sweet butt. That was never part of my plan; it was never what I saw in my future."

"I know that Sarah, but like I said, I talked to you as you changed, as the real you climbed out of the wreckage of your teenage life."

Thankful for the level-headedness of my best friend I finally think that I understand where she's coming from, and why everyone is acting so distant around me.

We spent the rest of the drive talking about random things and organising menus and feeding locations when Donna points out that it's Thursday, so tomorrow is party night at the Clubhouse, which brings a whole new range of possible futures flicking through my brain.

Donna sees the panic forming on my face, squeezes my hand, "If you feel uncomfortable at any time, we'll leave. I promise."

"Thank you."

"So, this fucken key ring that you've got, wanna explain that?" she asks, a note of irritation in her voice.

"I honestly thought I had lost those photos when I packed. I found them after about 8 months in New York buried in a box I had refused to open. Al saw them and stole them. 2 days later she gave me the key ring. It was my way of keeping you close to me at all times D."

She looks a bit happier, and I hope I can make her forgive me by the time we get done with shopping.

"How bouts, when we go to take the trailer back you come with me and we'll go shopping? My treat?" I offer, hope definitely colouring my voice.

She looks over at me, "Anything I want?"

"How bout clothes and shoes to start with. I'm not buying you cars or houses." I erupt into laughter at her face.

"Pfttttttt." The raspberry she blows at me makes me giggle more.

"Okay, shopping trip that's ALL your treat." She grins and I know I'm forgiven.

The conversation turns to other things and I tell her my concerns that Cam and Al won't fit into Charming, and will find it dull, but she reminds me that they aren't coming for the Club, they aren't coming to see Charming they are coming because I needed them.

By the time we come out of the last store having picked up meat for Donna's freezer to last at least a week I feel a lot better about the impending arrival of my New Yorkers, something Donna dubbed them while we wandered looking for a living cilantro plant, also calling me a snob for insisting the 4 we saw were too small.

Pulling back into Donna's driveway after an eventful shopping trip I almost consider turning around and leaving again when the bike in the driveway comes into focus, and the pissed off looking biker leaning against it, but thinking about what Donna said I realise that Jax needs to be reminded I'm not the same person, but he also needs to be reminded that I'm not leaving again.

Unloading the groceries to Donna's kitchen bench she shoves me back outside to talk to Jax saying with a grin, and well within his earshot, "We'll go to the real estate agent when you've talked to tall blonde and brooding over there."

Walking over to him I feel like I'm on a march to my executioner. He looks like he's conflicted about what he wants to say, but in the end the words that come out are questioning, not the accusation I was expecting. "Real estate agent?"

Of all the things I thought he'd pick first I did not think it would be about my choice of Thursday afternoon activities.

Shrugging I look towards Donna's front door, "Well, I can't live at the Hotel Winston forever, as much as I love and have missed Donna and Opie, I need to start living my life, I have no intentions of leaving Charming, and what better way for _everyone_ to realise how serious I am about then to buy a house?"

Jax looks surprised that I'd buy a house after being back in town for only two days, but then remembers whatever it was that he came to tell me and his face twists into an angry expression. "Tara has to have surgery tomorrow. You flattened her nose and broke her cheekbone when you hit her." He spits out, glaring at me as if it's an offence that I'm standing there and his precious Tara is in hospital.

I'm rapidly losing all patience with this situation, and the disbelief that all my old friends seem be displaying. "Firstly, I know what's wrong with her. Your mother told me today when she became the third person to ask me if I hit her. Secondly, ask Tig, he checked my knuckles_ again _for bruising, and found none. Surprise surprise, seeing I didn't hit her. Thirdly, and I don't think you'll believe this, but I am sorry for her having to have surgery, however I don't have a clue what happened to her. "

Jax snorts and a "Yeah, right." Comes slipping out of his mouth, it's that tiny sentence that breaks the last trace of control I have.

"For the last fucken time Jackson Nathaniel Teller, I did NOT punch her. If I wanted to break her it would have been more than her god-damn nose. Though it is a miracle it could have been broken by anyone with how far up your ass it is." I storm past him, shoving him out of the way and slam my way back into the house, only just remembering to grab the door before it slams closed again.

"That sounded fun." Donna remarks dryly from her position at the counter, holding her phone in one hand and the phone book in the other.

Looking over at her, she puts her phone down, crosses the room and envelopes me in a hug, "Oh, Sarah. Its okay, he'll realise he's being such an asshole. Anyway, let's go. Mandy is expecting us in 10 minutes." She seems to brighten at that and shoves me towards the door I've only just come in.

Heading over to the door again, we both hear the sound of Jax's bike roar to life and tear off down the street. Rolling my eyes at his behaviour I decide that I can't let it get to me, he's being an asshole, but he'd acted like this before and he got over it. Granted, I might make him grovel for many months this time before I eventually decided to forgive him.

Climbing into my car again I turn to Donna and remark with a giggle, "I feel like I've spent more time in my car during the last week then I had at any other time since I brought it. Just as well it's one sexy piece of machinery."


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE – mostly filler

Thankfully because Charming is so small we've stopped and made the hotel booking for Cam and Al, found temporary storage for my stuff, which I can't get access to till Sunday and we're still pulling into the lot behind Charming Real Estate only 20 minutes after leaving Donna's house.

Walking through the crystal clean door of the agent's office I giggle at the theme that seems to be painted around Mandy's office. With her walls covered in scenes from fairy tales it looks like a bedtime story and an office block threw up at the same time. The dull grey filing cabinets look odd set between a picture of a pumpkin and a castle painted onto the walls. I look at Donna and can just tell she's as thankful as I am that we don't have to come to this building every day.

"Sarah, wow. I heard you were back, but I guess now I have to believe it." Mandy calls from behind us.

I remember Mandy, when she was the stuck up 'It's Amanda' the girl who looked down on anyone who didn't have a brand new car and shoes that cost more than the monthly mortgage payment most of the adults in town made.

She seems to be a lot more down to earth now, standing in front of us in a pair of dark jeans and a button up white shirt and, most shockingly, no shoes. She laughs at the gobsmacked expression that seems to have found a home on my face before ushering Donna and I into her 'office' which in actual fact is just a desk behind a (fake) ivy covered screen.

Plopping down in her desk chair she turns her computer towards me and picks a pile of manila folders off her desk. "Right, do you want electronic first, or old fashioned paper?" I can just see by the way her hand is moving the folders closer that she wants me to pick them, so I grab the top on off the pile, noting thankfully that there are only about half a dozen.

Donna and I flick through the pile, eliminating all bar 2 of them as being dumps that would be better off being demolished then sold. Mandy shoves the discarded folders back into a draw, pushes the monitor further around and says, "Charming being so old school, we're only just getting to the online real estate now, so I only have a few more on here. But, you'll be happy to know that all of the properties digitally captured are empty so you can do a walk through today if you want."

"Now, Donna didn't tell me how big you wanted, where you wanted or how much you were willing to spend, so you have access to all of the current sales I have. However, I can see that you've picked 2 of the larger houses currently on the market. There are only 3 here. One is a 2 bedroom which I'm thinking will be too small?" She looks at me questioning and I nod. There is no way 2 bedrooms will be big enough for me and Doj let alone all my cooking gear that will, hopefully, be rolling into town later that day.

"Right then. One of these has 4 bedrooms, 2 living. The other is 6 bedrooms and 3 living, but with it just being you I'm not sure you really want something that big."

I'm not worried about buying a house that's too big, my connection to the Sons means that extra bedrooms can always be used for out of town charters or Nomads. I almost eliminate the first house when I see the kitchen is the size of the desk we are all crowded round, but Mandy points out the option to demolish walls and extend out if I want, which makes my instant dismissal become a 'can I look at it in person?'

Within 30 minutes of arriving Mandy has pulled out the keys to the four properties that I want to look at, getting the okay from the owners of the 2 occupied houses that it's okay to do a look around.

Travelling in her car I take the drive time to relax and enjoy being a passenger. I hear her and Donna talking about High School, Mandy was there for our first 2 years, but she remembers Donna and I and the trouble we used to cause.

"Right, number one. This place is empty, and has been for at least a year, but the owners have had a cleaning company coming in every week, and someone stays every weekend...a cousin from Lodi I believe. Anyway, this one is 4 bedrooms; it's got the shitty kitchen though."

The weekly cleaning isn't helping the fact the carpets need replacing; they have holes worn where furniture has been repeatedly rearranged. The walls look like they are going to crumble if they are touched, but not wanting to knock it, Donna and I spend about 15 minutes looking around before I walk back to Mandy and say, "It's nice, and I could easily remodel, as it is I'd have to strip the house to its bare bones to make it liveable."

The second property we stop at I don't even bother getting out of the car, "Sorry Mandy, I don't want to, and couldn't, live here."

She shrugs, having really expected it. In a town as small as Charming there aren't many bad areas, but the last place I want to end up living is anywhere near where Darby lives, "I can understand why the couple that live here are having trouble selling. No one really wants to live near here, but they brought before he moved in and now they are stuck."

I'm not sure what to say, but Donna saves me, "Next house, before someone notices 2 women who are associated with the Sons hanging out near Darby's." I smile at her, knowing she'll get the silent 'thank you' for still linking me with the club that I'm not sure will still want me around, after Tara's lies.

The third house looks a little more homely then the first one, but opening the door we can all see it's been badly treated, and someone has used it as a party house. The wall coverings have been ripped off and there is an awful smell of vomit in the air. Mandy slams the door closed and makes a note to herself before throwing the keys in her bag.

Driving to the last house Donna looks a little confuses as we pull up at a house that's at the other end of the block from hers.

Pulling into the driveway of the final property, I'm not sure if I want to get out, looking at what seems to be 6 months' worth of garden growth I can't decide if I want to see what the inside of the house looks like, the trees that are hanging over the driveway and have brushed against the car make it feel horribly dark.

Mandy takes note of my expression and starts with her sale pitch, thankfully there isn't much of one. "We will get a crew in to clean and do the gardens before you'd take possession. But you might need some good imagination to see past the dust inside. This house hasn't had many views due to its size so we haven't kept the weekly clean going."

I look at the house, it's got a fully fenced yard, which is a bonus with the dog, and it has an attached double garage.

She unlocks the door and pushes open and lets us know she's going to organise the clean and garden while we look around.

Walking through the door I can see immediately what she means by needing a clean, the dust that's on the ground swirls around as we step inside, but Donna grips my arm, so I don't run away screaming.

Directly in front of me is a staircase, the carpet appears to be a deep red, or black. The dirt makes it hard to tell. Donna and I link arms and head towards it. The first step makes me cough as more dust flies into the air but Donna starts giggling. I know Donna would love me to live here, but I'm not sure hard work and cleaning products could make this house liveable

Throwing caution to the wind I take off running up the stairs in front of her, stopping when I get to the top, for some reason, maybe gravity, maybe the breeze that seems to be brushing past me, there isn't as much dust up here. The doors are all closed, but both Donna and I throw them open.

After spending 30 minutes exploring the house that neither of us is sure we found the end of we head back towards the front porch where Mandy is leaning against the railing smoking a cigarette. She snorts at the dust that seems to cling to the bottom 6 inches of our clothes and says, "Okay, cleaning crew will be in next week if you'd like to have a look at it when it's clean."

I nod, liking the house, but still not really being able to get past the dirt and dust that feels like it's embedded itself in my skin.

Heading back to her office she lets me know that if anything else comes up she'll ring me. Then, and I'm amazed her curiosity has lasted this long, "Why aren't you going to Jacob for this?"

I can't help but smile, Donna snickers and replies "Jacob would try and sell her something that he thought she needed, something that reflected well on him and wouldn't show her more than one place, but try and get her to buy a cookie cutter house...you know, one of those development houses where they all look the same."

Mandy nods and we make a time to look at both houses again in a week, to give me time to think, and the cleaning crew time to discover the house under the dust.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Next chapter we finally meet Al and Cam :-)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Heading back towards Donna's house, having shoved her in the driver's seat and giggled while watching her take what seems to be half an hour to adjust the seat to her liking, I'm startled from my thoughts of both houses when the unfamiliar phone rings again.

Checking the number this time I grin, "Cam, where are you?"

"We're right outside some casino in Reno. Al wants to go in, insisting it's a 'sure thing'. I'm not sure if she means it's a sure thing that we'll win something, she'll find someone to fuck, your car will get broken into or what." Cam sounds tired, but I know driving across country would have done that, and the addition of dealing with Al and Doj wouldn't have helped.

I glance over at Donna, but she's already turning around and heading towards the Clubhouse to get them on the road. I'm still not sure why they can't drive straight on and have a couple of prospects meet them outside Charming, but I figure that it was Clay's call and if he wants to send an escort that's his right.

I tell Cam to go inside and have fun. After all it'll take a couple of hours to get the welcoming committee there. I issue a reminder to back the U-Haul with all my gear so it can't be opened, and leave a window open for the dog. After a snort and a 'no duh' voice in my ear as I hear the conversation telling Al they're going to gamble for a bit.

Even with Al obviously outside the car I hear cheer and can just picture the facial expression. My tattoo artist has a fondness for gambling, but not a good talent for winning. Which I am perversely grateful for as many lost bets have covered half the time spent on my designs.

Finding out what casino they are at just as we pull into the garage let I let Cam know I'll ring back in a few minutes with exactly how long the escort will take.

Snapping the phone shut and climbing out of the car I finally look up to see Jax is there, glaring at me like I'm something he stepped in. Ignoring the seriously uninformed biker I head towards the office, where I can see Clay talking to Gemma.

After filling them in Clay sticks his head out of the office and calls over Opie, Happy and Juice and a prospect, which as usual, is nicknamed 'shit head' to head out and scare the shit out of my two incoming friends.

Happy looks over at me, "Are you coming, or do we get a description of your cage?"

"I'll come, if that's okay, and one of you doesn't mind me as your bitch?" I answer, knowing that Happy won't care if I'm behind him, having been his 'bitch' before when we've ended up somewhere and Jax has vanished into pussy land. I'm not sure if Happy resents those times, but I'm sure if he did I would have heard about it. I haven't learnt a single thing about Juice, but I have to remind myself I've only been back 2 days. He's still an unknown, and I'm not willing to put myself on his bike without seeing how he rides first. And there is no way that I'd get on the back of a prospects bike. It just wouldn't happen in any situation unless it was life or death.

Happy comments loudly, within Jax's' ear shot, "Just like old times aye, but this time I'm taking you somewhere, instead of bringing you back." He tosses me a helmet and we head over towards his bike.

Donna nods enthusiastically when Opie asks if she wants to come, but runs into the office first to ask Gemma if she can take the kids for dinner.

Bending over I pop open the boot of my car and pull on an old jacket. I hear Donna's muffled gasp from across the lot, somehow, even from the door of the office she has recognised the battered item.

Shaking my head at her I silently plead for her to not mention a thing about the 40 year old leather, knowing that she'll get the answers she wants from me later she nods once and turns back to Gemma.

While Donna is sorting her kids I take a second to ring Cam, hearing the jingle of slot machines. "Hey, we're leaving Charming in about 5. It'll take maybe 2 hours to get there." I look at Happy and he nods his head confirming the 2 hour time frame I've allowed.

Snapping the phone closed and tucking it into the inside pocket of my inherited leather jacket I look up as Donna accepts the hoodie Opie has just collected from his dorm room and they head towards his bike.

Twisting my hair into a long rope I tuck it into my jacket before climbing on the back of Happy's bike, having learnt from previous experiences that wind hair is not good when your hair almost touches your ass.

Pulling out in a mini-formation I spot Jax, the glare still fixed on his face, but with the impending arrival of my friends I can't let his attitude bring me down.

Clinging on to Happy's back I remember the times, before Tara, that Donna, Opie, Jax and I would get on their bikes and make a trip up to Piney's cabin for a night. Once Tara and Jax got together that all changed, and suddenly it was Donna, Opie, Jax and Tara going to the cabin while I stayed home and listened to Jacob and David tell me why it was a good thing that I was getting distance between me and the club.

My family never understood my connection to the outlaw club that ruled the town I moved to when I was barely 12. They didn't get that I'd known Clay since my birth and it didn't matter to me if he was a outlaw, a biker, a criminal. As far as I was concerned he was Uncle Clay and one of my fathers best friends. My cousins never understood me either, no one bothered to ask if I liked Charming until one day this tiny brunette girl threw herself into the seat beside me, looked over and me and said, "You absolutely hate it here." It wasn't a question, but in that very minute Donna Learner showed me that not everyone in Charming tried to be polite to the orphan niece of Jacob Hale Snr.

Our friendship didn't start easy, her statement of fact weighed heavily on my mind for weeks afterwards, and I wondered constantly how this girl who didn't know anything about ME or where I was from could read me so easily, yet the family I'd be shipped to live with had no idea how much I hated their 2.5 children white picket fence life. Her parents instant dismissal of everything to do with the club included me because of Uncle Clay being one of the officers didn't make us forming a friendship easy, and I think that back then that was part of the reason why we fought so hard to be friends.

Glancing over at the young woman wrapped around her husband I can't help but feel incredibly grateful that she didn't let me stew in my distaste for the small town I'd moved to when my parents were killed after my father had a heart attack while piloting their light plane. She repeatedly demanded my attention, deciding within weeks of my arrival that we would be friends, and me fighting it was pointless. She once sent me a card for 'our' birthday, the day we celebrated every year when, as 13 year olds, we'd declared each other our best friend. The card was a nondescript forest setting the message inside simply saying 'I told you so.'

Bringing my mind back to the present I see Opie's bike drift a little closer so he can shout at me, "How are we going to know your cage when we get there?"

I can't help the laugh that bursts out, startling Happy a little before looking over at Opie and saying calmly, "Oh you'll see it alright."

He doesn't ask anything else, probably thinking we'll stop in the car park and I'll point it out, but I haven't been entirely honest about my Nitro. The decision to leave it behind in New York was a harder one that I thought; the final decision was only made when Cam pointed out to me that the Challenger didn't have any way to pull the U-Haul.

Settling in to the bitch seat on the bike I relax against Happy's back, content to remember previous times on a bike, and the person I used to cling to.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

**Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.**

Exactly 1 hour and 49 minutes later we're pulling into the car park of the Circus Circus Hotel and Casino and I can't help but grin when I see my 4x4 sitting in the very back corner of the car park, even though it's the middle of the day my friends have parked it right between a light and a security camera which would catch anything, and anyone, stupid enough to go near it.

Stepping stiffly off the bike I groan, I haven't been on a bike in 4 years, let alone spend 2 hours on a bike. None of the 'crotch rockets' that my extended circle of friends had found cool excited me as much as the rumble of a single Harley.

Donna grabs my shoulder as she slides off the back of Opie's bike, "So, which one is yours?" She's looking around, I notice her glimpse my car, but her eyes slide right over it, regardless of the huge U-Haul trailer behind it.

Pulling out the phone I quickly dial Cam's number and pass on that we've arrived and are waiting outside. I hear Al groan, I'm sure it's a losing groan, and it's not the first time. "We'll be out in a second...as soon as I collect my winnings."

I giggle, knowing that Cam won while Al lost won't make for a fun trip back to Charming for the pair, but I figure I can insert myself between the two and hopefully nothing will come to blows.

Hanging up the phone again I lift my eyes to Donna, "Can't you work that out, I think Opie has just clicked." Seeing the giant man's eyes lock on the side of my car I'm not sure how long it'll take for him to recognise the mural painted down the side, but I hope it's not going to cause problems when the remaining subjects see it.

Opie swings his foot over his bike and strides across the car park, leaning down to place a hand on the perfectly replicated image of his first bike he shoots back almost 5 feet when a massive noise of barking and snarling comes from within the tinted windows.

"Doj, Down." I call to my dog, instantly the barking stops, but a low whimpering sound starts instead, apparently my enormous puppy has missed me as much as I've missed him. Hearing the click of the locks go as the lights flash I glance towards the door and see Cam and Al walking in my direction.

Pulling open the back door I'm almost bowled over by the force of my 125 pound dog, only Opie standing behind me stops that from happening, but I end up slamming my back into his front and he groans.

Doj is happily standing in front of me, his tail wagging so hard it's thunking between the door which is still hanging open and the frame.

"Sit." I command, and he obediently does, before starting to sniff me manically, I guess to make sure I haven't been around other animals. He'll feel horribly betrayed if I have been. I remember the day, months after I got him that I stopped to pat a poodle on my way home from class. He refused to come near me for the rest of the day; it wasn't till after I'd changed clothes that he wanted attention.

"Ho-ly shit. That's not a dog, it's a fucken horse." Juice's voice reaches my ears, it sounds like he's still by the bikes, but I'm too busy saying hello to my dog to worry about anyone else at the time, only barely aware of Cam agreeing with Juice.

A few minutes later, when Doj finally feels like he's sniffed me and kissed me enough (eww, doggy breath) I am allowed to move, I turn to find Cam and Al looking at the guys sideways, and the guys leaning against their bikes examining my car, as calm as anything.

A thought shoots through my brain, 'I knew this would be hard' before I take a deep breath and introduce them all, surprisingly it's Happy who ends up breaking the silence that fell after the introductions, looking at Al chuckling before stating "Jax is going to shit bricks."

I'm slightly confused, then I realise what he means. Looking over at her, talking in the image that Al puts out, which conflicts with almost everything I know about her I nod.

"Why the fuck will he shit bricks, and why should I care?" Al's personality comes roaring back out, and she challenges Happy to explain his comment.

I know that Happy is capable of dealing with anyone, and Al would be no exception, but I'm trying to make my New York life merge, as best it can, with my Charming life so I answer for him, "I never told him, or anyone else actually, that Al was short for Alice. They all think that you're a guy, and Jax even though he hates me at the moment will, as Happy said 'shit bricks' when he realises the person who has seen me naked while inking all the parts of me is you."

Al shakes her head, the blonde curls brushing her shoulders, "Well S, I guess that we'd better see how my arrival will shake up Prince Asshole." Al doesn't edit her words, picking the title I'd bestowed on Jax, after refusing to say his name, when I arrived in New York all those years ago.

Opie snorts at the name that's been given to his best friend but doesn't argue, knowing that the way things ended between the two of us it was probably nicer than some of the names I'd called him, and the things Jax called me. "Well, all we knew was that Al was the tattoo artist and Cam was the flat mate, I'm guessing that Cam is not short for Cameron?"

Cam laughs, her brown hair trailing to her shoulder blades. "Well, actually it is. But it's Cam-r-y-n."

Opie nods, "Well, we better get back on the road if we want to be back in time for dinner. Gemma said to try and be back by 7 and she'd feed us at her house."

Heading over to my car I am surprised when Donna tags along, but after rearranging the back of the car to put the hair lock blanket I brought for the dog and to protect my upholstery in the back Cam and Al jump in the back-seat and Donna climbs in beside me.

I know that I'm going to be questioned about a few things on the way home, and I'm surprised that no one has yet asked about the unusual moniker my dog has, given when I was a teenager I'd always said I would name a dog something blandly normal like Joe or Molly.

Pulling out of the car park again with Happy and Opie in front and Juice trailing behind with the prospect I feel protected from Craig, nervous about my friend's arrival in Charming, anxious to see how badly Jax will react. But of all the things I feel the one that is the most at the forefront is anticipation of Jax, and Clay, will react to the custom paint that's been lacquered on the outside of my car, and in that same line the dread that they will hate it and demand I change it.

Dragging my mind back to the present, instead of worrying about what is still at least 2 hours away I focus back in on Donna knowing that now is a good time to explain the re-emergence of a jacket that she'd thought I'd destroyed years ago.

"So, when I said I got rid of Mom's jacket I did. I packed it in a box and buried it at the bottom of another box and then piled it will shit I'd never thought I'd use. Turns out I was wrong. I found it again when I was in New York, had it cleaned and treated and started wearing it whenever I could. For a while it smelt like her, but it doesn't any more." The single item of leather is the only thing I've kept with me from my mother, she'd worn it every day when I was younger, only taking it off when work demanded, or it was too hot.

Donna nods, "I'm amazed that Clay didn't recognise it."

I shrug as we pull onto the freeway. "He probably did, but he's aware enough not to ask." I giggle. "He also knows about you and your Donna-quistions."

Al and Cam look confused, "Donna's version of the Spanish Inquisition. She can get anything out of anyone if she puts her mind to it."

Donna grins and twists in her seat to grill Cam and Al about where we met and how we became friends. I know that the story will shock her, after all when I was in Charming I used to get stage fright so bad that I almost couldn't speak in public without throwing up and I'd met them in a very public situation.

"Well, we were at a concert in Central Park, a few weeks after she arrived, it was one of those free things that most New Yorkers hate, but we loved. We were somewhere in the middle of the grass and this bundle of energy appeared in front of us demanding we help her get on the stage. We both thought she was either drunk or high. Turned out she'd eaten over half a box of pixie stix on the way to the show."

Al laughs at the way Cam describes what I still think was an epic decision, but takes over, "Anyway, she spotted a flash of colour on my skin under my shirt. She all but ripped my shirt trying to see the tattoo on my forearm before she went all weird on us and started stroking it."

I poke my tongue out at them, that part is a far exaggeration, while I did push Al's shirt up; I in no way molested her poor tattoo, the image of a Hummingbird in flight still fascinates me. When I point that out to her Alice groans and Cam snickers, "Well, it was a bit weird, you didn't even know what her name was and you were questioning her about what other work she had and if you could see it. But, in our own stupidity we decided to help this small creature onto the stage, hoping it would get her to leave us alone. Well she got on stage, but instead of being kicked out she started dancing with the band. Who apparently loved it."

I grin at the pair of them, we'd ended up, the three of us, on the stage for the best part of an hour before the band had finished their set and been ushered away from the 'crazy fans'. Truth be told I didn't even know the name of the band before that show, and I still don't like their music.

The miles seem to disappear under us as I find myself incredible thankful that the three of them seem to be getting on well.

**AN: There's photos of Doj, Al and Cam on the website linked in my profile. Did anyone expect them both to be females, I was hoping to have kept it ambiguous enough that it wasn't obvious :-)**


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

With the last dozen or so miles passing faster than the rest of the ones we've just travelled I figure it's time to give Al and Cam a heads up as to what's happening in Charming, and find out how long they are in town for.

"So, you guys need a bit of info before we get there, you've heard a bit from blabbermouth over there," I look affectionately at Donna who has been telling them all about small town life, and slipping in details about my connection to both local law enforcement and government. She's also managed to fill in a lot of the holes that I left in my story about how and why I had left Charming in the first place.

"I have you booked into a room in a hotel, but at the moment it's for a week. I didn't know how long you'd be here for..." I trail off, hoping that one of them will let me know and I'm shocked speechless with the answer I get.

"Well, that depends entirely on how we like the town. Both of us decided that we have grown tired of New York and want a change. That's why you keep complaining that the trailer feels like it weighs a tonne. It has most of our stuff in it as well, the rest is in storage at a moving company's yard, if we don't like Charming we're going to go on to San Francisco. But if Charming is as great as you've sold it to be its population might be about to increase by two." Cam tells me, her voice set with the decision I knew she'd been thinking about for months, not the moving to Charming part, but the leaving New York part.

I wonder, briefly, about how this will shake things up with the crow eaters and sweet butts, neither Al nor Cam will put up with any bullshit from any of them, and I know that the skanks that hang hopefully around the clubhouse won't like the 2 new pieces of eye candy that are about to appear to 'their' men.

The three of us were once told we were like 3 parts of a perfect puzzle. Of course the person that told us that was trying to bed all of us, at the same time, but he was strangely accurate. Al, with her blonde hair and blue eyes, pale skin and the curves that seemed to go on for days was the All-American girl where Cam was the almost polar opposite, pin straight black hair, which she'd always worn in long layers framing her face, the brown eyes that seemed to move like liquid, her figure almost looked boyish, apart from her surgically given boobs, the 21st present she'd gotten 2 years before. Then there was me stuck in the middle. I always thought that my best feature was my grey eyes, but apparently in New York the fact that my hair was naturally waist length shocked people, as did the fact that I'd had no plastic surgery and never went to a tanning booth, the figure that I'd ended up with as an adult could have come straight out of an old school pin-up tattoo. Many times in the first months of our friendship Al threatened to turn me into a pin-up on canvas.

I shrug to myself, ignoring the questioning glance I get from Donna as she notices the movement. Heading past the 'Welcome to Charming' sign I know the second Al sees it as she grins, proud that we'd managed to get it perfect from the few images we'd found of it on Google.

Following the guys into the Teller-Morrow lot I'm not really sure if I'm ready for the shit storm that could hit the second Al sets her eyes on Jax, but I don't have a choice in where we go. It almost feels like I'm being herded to my doom, and I know it's stupid. I have Happy and Opie who will be there, Juice will sit back and wait till he can say something idiotic to break tension, and the prospect will vanish, like good prospects do.

I know that the best place for the massive trailer of furniture, clothes, ornaments and electronics is behind their gates I can't argue, well I could, but I am not able to find a reason that would sound anything other than pathetic.

As almost a blessing when I take an inventory of the bikes in the lot I spot the empty space where Jax's should be. I breathe a sigh of relief which is caught by the trouble makers in the back seat.

Al leans between the seats, having undone her belt the second we were off the road "He's not here, is he?" She's craning her head trying to spot the blonde head she's seen in many photos.

"Nope, so you can just keep yourself sedated for a while longer." I grin, knowing she won't take the bait.

"Pfttttttttttt."

She's blown a raspberry at me, like the mature adult she always claims to be. But I can't blame her, I feel like I'm going to be sent to the principal's office, and the nerves don't lessen till I spot Clay, sitting on the edge of a picnic table, cigar in hand chatting away with Bobby.

I can spot the exact second that Bobby has seen the airbrushing down my car, his mouth drops open and he shoves Clay in my direction.

"Now or never." I mutter, mainly to myself, but also to let Cam and Al know that they're going to meet one of the 2 people who they know not to piss off.

The four of us get out of my truck, well Donna seems to jump down, while I use the running board to make a, slightly, more graceful departure. My 2 friends stick legs out and can easily plant their feet on the ground and I'm reminded again that I really hate all my friends being so much taller than me, it's not like my 5'7" frame is short, it's just with Cam at 6' and Al at 5'11" I feel like a kid beside them sometimes.

"Clay, this is..." He walks right past me, going to the front of my truck and starts to walk around it.

I can see him analysing the motorcycles that run in a formation down both sides from the front of the vehicle towards the boot hatch, the Anarchy A that's the only part of the logo I allowed myself to add to the imaging, that without looking closely at the surround of the key holes no one would notice...but of course Clay does.

Returning to the front, he takes note of the flames that curve from under the car, over the bonnet and down the roof, fading to smoke haze on the rear doors.

He looks over at me, motions me over and makes me name the bikes that are permanently etched into my mind, so were painstakingly recreated via airbrush on my car, riders in solid black helmets so no faces were in the imagery.

"You, of course, you had to be at the front. Big Otto, Bobby, Piney, Happy, Tig, Jax, Opie." The images of 4 bikes and riders on each side of my vehicle seems to have shocked him into a silence that I hope he'll break soon, or I might just run away back to New York, regardless of what waits for me there.

He pulls me to his chest hard and hugs me, "We never let you leave our hearts either sweetheart."

I didn't know till this second how much I'd missed the hard man that was my dad's friend during their time in the army, and the man who saved his life at least once in Vietnam and used to visit us at least 4 times a year at home in Palm Springs. A couple of tears leak out of my eyes at the realisation that I didn't just leave my friends behind when I ran away and I look him in the eyes "I'm sorry..."

He doesn't let me say another word; I guess he knows what was coming, the explanation that he doesn't want about why I left, and more excuses about my behaviour on that last day. He doesn't need them, and thankfully he doesn't want them either.

Turning back to my friends I continue the introductions, finally getting to put names to the faces that Cam and Al had been analysing since our arrival as they worked on getting the U-Haul off the truck and pushed into a corner. I can't help but wonder why they didn't just back in into the corner, but with me tied up with Clay they wouldn't have wanted to interrupt to get the keys that are tucked in my pocket.

After sorting out names and laughing at the guys as they all clicked that the 2 people that seemed to have Jax so steamed up about are both in-fact gorgeous women we snap into action when Clay shouts that it's time for everyone to go home. Pointing at me he very sternly stated "Not you."

Oh shit, I am in trouble. That's the first thought that instantly shoots through my brain, but not wanting to argue I hand my keys to Al, double checking I still have the Challenger key tucked in my pocket before I direct her to follow Opie to where we're eating that night.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Grimacing and hoping I'm not about to meet the reaper I'm staring at as I follow Clay through to the office, while everyone else mounts bikes, or ends up back in my 4x4 When it's just the two of us in the afternoon quiet that is the lot after all the mechanics have left. Trailing behind him as he closes the bay doors he starts talking quietly.

"When you left Donna was inconsolable. It wasn't till about a week later that you must have finally contacted her. She came to us, told Gemma that she'd heard from you but you wouldn't tell her where you were. Sarah, you can't do that again. It wasn't just Donna that was devastated. Gemma hid it well from everyone but me, you leaving, it almost destroyed her. She's already lost a husband and one child. When you left, and I know she won't tell you this, it was like she lost another one." Clay seems incredibly serious with what he's telling me, and I know that Gemma has no idea I'm being given this information.

I'm stunned into silence for the second time in a short space, but I can see where he's coming from, The Morrow household became more of a home to me then my own by the time I was 14, Gemma was the female adult figure I always looked towards, Clay the male. While Uncle Jacob had been alright, Clay was the open book who would answer any question, and was always there when I needed a father-figure.

I feel guilty, and I know Clay can read it in my face cause he shakes his head, "No, don't feel bad. She eventually forgave you on her own. Donna gave her all the updates you gave her and the pair of them are very close now. So thank you for that, but, that is the ONLY good thing that came from you leaving."

"Actually Clay, more good did come from me going than just that. I leant who I was when I wasn't trying to catch Jax's attention. I learnt to be an adult. But I guess the best thing about me leaving is I learnt that Charming isn't just where I lived, its home. It's part of me and it's somewhere I'm not leaving again." I know that answering Clay back normally isn't the best thing to do, but he needs to know that I feel more good came then just the demolition of the boundary between Donna and the club.

The work that I had put into making her realise that the hatred she thought she had towards the club stemmed from the brain washing her parents did took a lot of time, but thankfully when it finally broke she realised that without her accepting the club her relationship wouldn't last past the first hurdle, and that the club would help her with anything she would ever need during the course of her life, provided she never treated the club badly, she was now the closest Old Lady to the club, right behind Gemma of course.

He seems to accept my interruption, a rare thing for him, before he turns and says, "Right, let's get out of here. Foods waiting."

Running towards my car I yell over my shoulder, "Bet I get there before you old man!"

He laughs, waving a hand at me as I tear out the car park, past the prospect assigned to guard the lot overnight, mainly due to the trailer tucked in the corner that contains everything I own.

Pulling into the driveway a record 3 minutes 45 seconds later I'm not sure whether I'm impressed or annoyed that Clay's bike is already tucked at the front of Gemma's Caddy and he's striding towards the door.

"Did you stop for a nap on the way?" He taunts as I climb out of the car and head towards him.

"Nope, obviously a few streets have changed though if there's a shorter shortcut to get here then I used."

He doesn't confirm what I'm guessing, but he doesn't deny it so I resolve to ask Donna about it later when I have a minute.

Pulling open the door he looks over at me as we go inside, he heads towards the coat rack while I stalk over to the kitchen where I can hear loud voices, both of which I recognise, pausing just out of view. I'm suddenly interested it what's about to be said.

"Do you know how much shit we had to go through to get her to TALK about what happened here Prince Asshole? Do you know that it took us six months before she would stop cringing every time she _heard_ a motorcycle? In a city like New York that's a fuckload of cringing every day. It took us a full _year_ before she would even tell us where she was from, and you know what. It was only half the truth. She told us she was from, and I quote, 'Some backwater hillbilly bum fuck town in the middle of California that no one has heard of, but the people who live there are sure it's the centre of the world'." Al snaps, obviously her time travelling has worn her thin temper to breaking point. I've never known her to speak to a complete stranger like this, but then I guess in her mind Jax isn't a stranger, he's the shadow that followed me around for 4 years.

"Do I look like I would have let her leave? It's not just you that had to deal with non-information. I didn't know she was going till she was already gone. For at least a week I thought she was DEAD because of her connection to the club. We heard nothing for months after the 2 lines sent to the garage that she was alive and well." I hear a thud, and I hope its Jax having sat down, but what he's just said makes me incredibly grateful again to Donna. When I found out Tara left, I asked Donna, begged her I guess, not to tell Jax anything about me other than that I was still breathing, until it seemed he was getting over Tara leaving.

"She is not the only one that had it hard that first year, my girlfriend left me and one of my best friends left at the same time. Do you know what that feels like?" Jax sounds like he's about to lose whatever hold he has over his control so I decide now would be an opportune time to make my entrance.

Turning the corner I see Jax standing behind the table, the thunk having been him setting an almost full beer on the table. Al is on the other side of the table, she's leaning onto the table, her entire body tense and I know that if I hadn't have stepped in there the next words would have been information I didn't want anyone in this room to know, I look at the faces of my friends and quickly realise that no one has bothered filling Jax in on names, no one would have had a chance to. I'm pretty sure Al's temper has been simmering since she left New York.

"Right guys, I'm here. Please stop arguing over me. Yes, Al, I was a mess when I got there, and yes it did take me a long time to get over what had happened. But I did get over it, and I'm okay now. Jax, you have no right to compare me and your bitch leaving with the anguish I had when I had to leave my ENTIRE family and EVERYTHING I had known since I was dumped here as an orphan. So, fuck up okay...just fuck up." I am over trying to be nice to Jax; he's been acting like Prince Asshole again, so my mind goes to the setting I seem to have developed for dealing with those sorts of people.

I can see the exact second Jax's control snaps, and so does everyone else in the room. I'm suddenly being ushered into the kitchen by Cam and Donna and Jax is being manhandled out the door by Clay and Opie.

I look at Gemma, and I can't quiet read the emotion in her eyes, it looks like she's proud of something but given her son has just been pretty much shoved out her door I'm not sure if it really is pride, or if it's another volcano about to explode.

She walks over and hugs me, "Don't worry about him. He'll be fine I'm sure. Prince Asshole...that actually fits the way he behaved when you left, but don't tell him I said that."

I nod, I would never tell him anything that happens, or happened, in the conversations Gemma and I have.

I'm not sure if introductions got done before the shit storm broke, but I introduce Al and Cam to Gemma and I'm equally shocked and gobsmacked when she turns to them and hugs them both. She holds Al out at arm's length, laughs softly and says, "I would love to see it when my thick son gets it into his head that the Al and Cam we've heard so much about are not males like he thought." Gemma does not hug strangers. But perhaps that's something that changed while I wasn't around.

Ushering us all the to the table Gemma and Neeta, who was hiding in the kitchen, start piling dishes into the middle and before long we're all talking, though I feel like most of the questions are still being aimed at me. I guess after 4 years there is a lot of catching up to do.

Going through the mundane questions, where did I live, where did I work, did I enjoy school we get to dessert before someone, and I am pretty sure it's Tig who is not known for his compassion, in fact he's more known for the bluntness, "Do you really think that you're that important to your ex that he'll follow you here?"

With all eyes suddenly on me, I'm stuck in the spotlight fishing through the words I know I need to say, but that seem to be stuck.

Al saves me, "Craig was possessive right from the first day. He made her get rid of everything she had that reminded her of Charming. He wanted her to get laser tattoo removal on her ankle. He told her, within my ear shot, that it was stupid having marked that on her skin, and how she'd never be able to escape it. He then criticised the work itself, I guess he didn't know I'd done it. He would come over in the morning, take her to school, go to work and then come back to the school to take her home again. During which time he'd be ringing her every hour and texting every 10 minutes. It wouldn't surprise me if the phone he gave her had a tracking chip in it. He seemed to show up everywhere she was where he wasn't."

Cam looks up, meeting the steely eyes of Tig and holds his gaze, something not many people I've met in my life can do, "We managed to save a lot of her Charming stuff by hiding it as ours, but she had this massive painting she'd done of the lot at the garage, full of bikes and people. Different leather, but all with the same image on the back. It took her about 8 months to paint, she called it her 'final therapy'. She loved that painting, but he took a butcher knife to it one night while she slept and it couldn't be repaired. She cried for about 2 days and he just told her to get over it and stop living in the past. That her life was with him now and the sooner she got over whatever thoughts of Charming she had the better."

The hard men around the table seem shocked that I spent that long on something depicting them, but I see the light dawn in their eyes as they remember the images I've had painted on my vehicle. Each of them seems like they can't comprehend how I'd managed to get involved with someone so opposite to all the men I grew up around.

Thankfully the conversation gets changed quickly by Donna who'd been watching me since we sat down and had noticed how tense I had gotten. The path that the conversation they'd started could have headed down made me cringe and hope that the floor would swallow me whole.

She checks on the twins and innocently asks Clay something about her car which turns the looks around the table from me back to work related stuff that I can ignore and try and forget New York and it's horrible memories.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

**AN: Poll on my page – can people please vote. Thanks.**

After the knowledge bombshell that was dinner at Gemma's we all left fairly quietly, I showed my friends to their hotel, leaving them my Challenger and taking the Nitro home with Doj hanging his head out the window as I drove, escorted by Happy and Opie the whole way back.

Pulling into the driveway of the Winston's house I can't help but be thankful for the friends I have, both the ones from Charming who haven't abandoned me like I feared and the ones from New York who loved me enough to drive cross country for me.

Opie stands by the back door of the car, waiting for me to get out, knowing he'll need to help me carry in the massive bag of food that my dog will easily go through in a week. Hoping out of the driver's seat I thank the stars that I insisted on behaviour training for Doj, without it he would have run and tackled Opie for the food by now.

I can't help it, when Opie effortlessly picks up Doj's food in one arm and his bed in the other I call over his shoulder to Donna, who had just opened the door for us, "I'm going to steal him. I need his muscles."

Donna just laughs and kisses him as he walks past, "You're welcome to try."

"Pfttttttt like I'd stand a shot." The derisive noise comes out of me like a balloon that's been let go mid inflation.

Opie drops the dog's bed into the middle of the kitchen floor, "Will he sleep here okay?"

I look at both my friends standing in their kitchen and decide I have to tell them why my dog's name is what it is, but I need to settle him first.

"Yup, he'll be fine as long as he can get his water bowl and on his bed okay." I drop the stand for his food and water bowls beside the fridge and retrieve some biscuits before Opie tucks the bag into the laundry and locks the door.

Doj looks happily at his stand, obviously feeling if it's up then he's home again. I know it must have been hard for him in the car for as long as he's been there, and it would have been hard without me.

I collect a beer for Opie and a bottle of water for both Donna and myself, funnily I know that her reason for no wine at Gemma's was probably the same as mine, we're both aware of Friday night party night the following night and that there will be liquor flowing freely.

Plopping down on the floor I wait till Doj has finished his biscuits and he comes and curls beside me, resting his massive head on my lap.

I absently start stroking his ears and before I can start talking he's sleeping soundly, his head heavier in my lap.

"Right, you guys know his names' Doj right?"

They both nod, "Well, he was named that very carefully. I tossed several ideas for names around before it was eventually settled on."

Opie makes the universal 'come on' gesture and I know he wants to know why they need this information.

"The third party that should be here for this isn't. Hopefully one day he'll let me tell him. Anyway, Doj. D O J Named for the 3 most important people in my life, the ones that I thought about every single day while I was away, but when the mess with Craig started I just couldn't bring him here to your life, it was bad enough he'd destroyed mine, I wanted to know that you three were all happy."

I can't get out anything else; the tears that seem to have been lingering behind my eyelids almost the whole day have finally decided to be released.

Donna and Opie look stunned, like they can't believe that I would name an animal after them, but I'm surprised at that. Maybe I'm reading their expressions wrong. I sniff loudly and Doj's head snaps up, he's been startled awake by my sudden movement and when he smells the salt on my face he starts frantically trying to lick it away.

I can't help but laugh and when I finally get control of my emotions again Opie is sitting there, but Donna has gone. I really hope I haven't insulted her by adding her name to the name of my pet.

Opie has always been able to read me fairly well, and even now after a separation of years it seems to still linger, I vaguely realise I can still read the people I used to be able to. He opens his mouth, and I'm prepared for something deep and meaningful to come out but all he does is burp, which lands him with a lap full of excited dog amazed at the loud noise that's just erupted from this person.

"Doj, down." But the giggles make the command useless as Doj continues to try and climb on Opie's lap. I gasp for breath and as I do I hear a giggle from behind me as well, turning my head I see Donna in the doorway, her eyes are slightly red and she has tear tracks down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry; I'll change his name if you want me too." I start to stutter out, wondering how hard it will be after 3 years to get my dog to answer to something else.

Donna shakes her head and drops herself beside me on the floor; wrapping an arm round my neck she squeezes me into a hug that really does rival the strength of her Old Man. "You will not change his name. You will tell that stupid stubborn Asshole what you just told us the next time you see him. You will not leave again." I nod, obviously Donna is still feeling a little concerned I'll disappear, but she's not done yet. "You will buy a house; in fact you will buy the house down the road. I will help you make it habitable, so will the rest of the club. We will get rid of Tara, once and for all. But the most important thing of all Sarah is if you do leave again, whatever reason you think of I will ignore and I will drag you back to Charming by your foot."

I laugh at the sternness in her voice as she spoke, but then realise all bar the foot part she is completely serious about everything she's just told me.

I nod again, and continue nodding till I hear Opie's strangled voice, "Little help please."

Donna and I both end up almost in tears when we look at her poor husband and find that somehow my 100+ pound dog has managed to not only get on his lap, but is currently licking the side of his neck like it's been covered in minced beef.

"Doj, down." I command again, thankfully this time the giant animal listens and Opie breaths a massive sign of relief. We all stand up to head towards bed, but putting Doj in the kitchen proves problematic, the second I'm out of sight he whines After trying to work out if I can sleep on the sofa Opie solves the problem by collecting Doj's bed and dropping it on the floor in the room I'm sleeping in.

"There, that will save the noises from him, will stop the kids from thinking he's a horse and trying to ride his back, will stop me tripping over him in the morning, and will stop Sarah from thinking about sleeping on the couch."

I grin again; give both of them a huge hug and climb into bed, dropping an arm out so that I can stroke Doj's head as he sleeps. Something that relaxes us both, he's sleeping within minutes and I'm not far behind.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

**AN: Poll on my page – can people please vote. Thanks.**

My morning wakeup call this morning is not a gentle thing. I sit bolt upright at 645 as an ear piercing scream from the room next door shatters the silence.

Sometime during the course of the night Doj has given up on his bed and he's currently sprawled behind me, on his back with his legs in the air, his head is upside down and his mouth has flopped backwards so all I see is the inner pink of his jowls. The screaming hasn't disturbed him at all "Some guard dog you are!" I snort, throwing back the blankets and jumping out of bed.

Heading into the room next door I spot Donna already there, trying desperately to calm her screaming child. I'm not sure what to do about it, I was only ever around these 2 children while they were still inside my best friend, a thought that strikes me as comical and gross at the same time.

Doj has used my getting out of bed to roll onto his legs and I hear him come in behind me, the tags on his collar a giveaway.

Miraculously the appearance of my golden brown animal seems to make Ellie stop her screaming in mid breath. It sort of stutters to a halt then "Doggy?" comes out like she can't believe her eyes.

Donna looks at me, and I know it's to check that Doj will be okay with her, and I know that she will be fine, on days when I was too tired to function after school and work Cam would take him with her to the park, where inevitably they would end up the centre of a huge group of children. Doj, the attention whore that he is, loved every second of it and used to protest going home in case more kids wanted to pat him.

Ellie inches over, her footie pyjamas wrinkled from the night's sleep and her hair sticking in all directions, but I ignore her for a second, giving a verbal command to Doj for him to lie down so he's not towering over her so much.

Ellie reaches the point where she can stick a hand out and almost touch Doj's nose, and he does the rest of the work for her, his massive pink tongue comes out and licks the palm of her hand, suddenly an eruption of giggles fill the ear as Ellie takes another step forward, plonking down on the ground beside the dog.

Donna smiles at the sight of her small child, almost eclipsed by the size of the dog who is now trying to crawl his way around her so that Ellie's little hands can pat the bits he likes the best, the top of his head and right between his shoulder blades.

Another giggle brings our attention to the other bed where Kenny is sitting watching, but before we can get him up he's thrown himself out of bed, run over to Ellie and is sitting with her, both of them patting him, chatting away in that 'twin speak' they've got.

Watching while Donna makes their beds and does a quick tidy round the room we let the twins have a few minutes playing before we each collect a twin from the floor and head towards the kitchen with Doj in tow.

Leaving Donna to settle the kids in their chairs I start pottering round their small kitchen, feeding the dog his breakfast, opening the back door for him before pulling out ingredients for breakfast, the knowledge that its party night at the club still weighing on my mind, but I know a decent breakfast will mean a late lunch, which will help with any alcohol I will likely consume tonight having learnt from several very nasty hangovers in my teen years.

30 minutes later, I'm just setting the stuffed French toast on the table as the coffee pot finishes and Opie stumbles in fresh out of the shower, he sniffs the air as Donna pushes a cup of coffee over, he takes a massive mouthful, shakes his head and his eyes open.

Picking up his knife and fork he attacks the giant pile of French toast in front of him, pausing between bites to issue a list of things that need to be done today I chew my way through the breakfast I've made.

Half way through the meal I'm still half-listening to Opie as he reminds Donna that she has to be at the Clubhouse at 5 to help with the food. He looks over at me and tells me that I am welcome, as are my friends. "After all," he says, "many hands make light work."

I nod, but I'm not sure if I'll make it much before I think everyone is too drunk to recognise me, and likewise I'm not sure if my friends will want to go having only arrived last night.

He heads off to work while Donna and I clean the kitchen, and then bath the kids...who knew fruity chocolate French toast could get behind ears?

About 3 hours after our unnatural wakeup call my phone chimes from my bag, fishing it out I am surprised that Al is awake at this hour, knowing her she'd think that 10am was far too early to be awake, let alone using a phone.

She sounds remarkably awake as she informs me they're on their way over and how do they get to where I am. I give them detailed directions, only being corrected twice as I tell them where to turn (apparently in 4 years only 2 businesses have changed names).

Heading back to the kitchen I pull the French toast I'd put aside and pop it in the oven for my 'we don't eat breakfast' friends. They don't eat breakfast, unless I've cooked it. That's something that only took me a month to realise after Al moved into an apartment on the same floor as Cam and I in the middle of Manhattan.

A few short minutes later they are pulling into the drive, Donna lets them in and shows them to the kitchen where they almost snatch the plates out of my hands. They're at the table eating before I even get a 'Hello' and I begin to think maybe they haven't eaten since I left, which starts the feelings of guilt again.

Donna brings a pot of coffee to the table with cups, sugar and milk and we sit round chatting for a while, Cam confirms the thought that they hadn't been eating very well, but they'd packed up the apartments the day after I left and left New York as soon as they could so had been living on take out since then.

I promise them a few good home cooked meals as a thank you for the cleaning and packing they had to do. Cam shrugs, "I'm sure you will more than make up for it. And on the way down I rang Daddy and told him I was coming here. He's going to put the apartments into the rental market and let me know when they have re-leased."

Cam doesn't like to make a big deal of it, but her father has more money than Jeff Bezos, the guy who founded Amazon, she doesn't have to work, her father is perfectly happy to support her life, but she studied interior design, clothing design and business management before she finally found what she wanted to do when she started cosmetology, but she made her father promise that he wouldn't interfere and help her be successful, she wanted to achieve that on her own. Before I left she was starting to do okay having worked on several movie sets doing the hair and makeup, but I'm not sure how being in the middle of small town USA will help her now.

Al looks incredibly thankful that she became such good friends with the person who owned her leased apartment, and truthfully, the whole floor we lived on in our building in Manhattan. It made breaking her lease to leave that much easier.

The pair of them has finished eating and we're just sitting quietly round the table drinking coffee when Neeta comes in the door, having arrived later seeing she'll be staying with the kids till the following morning.

Neeta ushers us all out the door letting me know that it won't be a problem the dog hanging around, as long as he doesn't mind her singing off-key. Al and Cam both burst out laughing and let Neeta know that Doj is used to being sung to badly as I do it all the time.

Heading out in my Nitro to run errands it's 2pm when Gemma rings and asks for us to pick up the meat order for tonight, we head towards Stockton and end up arriving there just before 3. With the meat order not due to be ready till 5 we end up the time in between wandering around Webstertown Mall before heading to the butcher who loads 4 massive chilled boxes in the back of my car.

I can't believe that all the meat just dumped in my luggage compartment will be consumed that night, but I figure after all these years Gemma must know what she's doing and the 4 of us climb back in the car and return to Charming, new outfits purchased and tucked in their bags between white polystyrene.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Pulling into the lot at Teller-Morrow I'm about to park my car in the slot between Gemma's car and the Clubhouse, the space Gemma had left for me as we had what seemed like 100 pounds of meat in the back that needed to go straight inside to the fridges when a battered car races in front of me and steals the space.

I momentarily think about making a big deal of it and making her move, but decide I can't be bothered so I just park right behind her, blocking both her and Gemma in. As I get out of the car the bleach blonde skank who's stolen my park gets out and starts screaming.

"Move your piece of shit car; I need to be able to get out later. Not to mention that you've just blocked in the _Presidents_ Old Lady. Though, you look like you wouldn't know a thing about what happens round here." The distaste is evident in her voice as she takes in the simple long-sleeved shirt, jeans and sneakers I dressed in that morning.

I choose to ignore her, instead walking towards the Office where I can see Gemma sitting at her desk, waiting for the influx of half-dressed 'entertainment' for the Sons. Blondie doesn't seem to comprehend that I'm not interested as she stomps after me.

"Gemma, this...person...just blocked my car in, and yours. How am I meant to get out later?" The voice that is coming screeching out makes Gemma sigh and makes me feel like I should pour the peroxide she uses on her head into my ears.

"Ima, that car park that you've just parked in was left empty for a reason, and it wasn't for you. Sarah was collecting the Barbecue supplies for tonight, and if you've got an issue with me electing to designate a park I think perhaps you should ask nicely if you can be let out so you can Go Home." Gemma seems like she deals with this stuff every weekend, but by looking at the lack of clothing that Ima is wearing she probably does.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Cam, Al and Donna get out of the car and open the boot. A couple of the guys come over with prospects in tow and start moving the chilled meat from the car to the massive fridge in the back corner of the garage. The girls take the bags inside and Donna shouts over, "We'll be in Opie's room, come back when you're done."

I nod absently and focus back on Ima who is stuttering and spluttering about how she shouldn't have to give up a premium car park for a newbie, let alone one who is dressed like she should be working on a farm. She follows with a torrent if insults about everything from my hair cut to the colour of my shoes. When she finally starts muttering about my parents that's about where the patience I've been trying to hold towards the mostly—naked brainless twat explodes.

I turn to her, "Look here, Blondie. I'm not sure if your lack of brain cells directly correlates to your lack of hair colour but I am not new around here, in fact I was hanging around this lot long before you even figured out that your pussy was going to help you advance in your chosen profession. I am not interested in being a hole for the guys round here to stick their cock in. None of them ever have, not for lack of trying. You may like being handed around like the latest porn magazine, which I am sure the guys have seen you in anyway, but some women actually have respect for themselves, and the knowledge that being just another cum dumpster is not something to aim towards."

I turn away from her, fed up with having to speak to someone who looks like the only words she's heard from that sentence are 'pussy, cock, porn and cum.'

As I'm walking towards the clubhouse I hear Gemma giving the bleach bottle with legs a few tasks to do before tonight, which will hopefully allow her to calm down, and remember her place in the club as help who gets fucked by the members, when they want her.

Heading into the Clubhouse I momentarily stop to look at the photos on the walls, and note that Clay has left the one of him and my dad on the wall, even though dad was never a member of the club. Reaching a hand out, I lightly touch the photo before I turn away and down to Opie's room, it looks almost identical to the way it did when he was a lowly prospect, the only real additions I can note are more photos of Donna and the photos of his kids and what I am sure would have once been Opie's dream, 3 women in various states of dress.

I lean against the door frame and wolf whistle at them. 3 heads turn in my direction and I have to duck as 2 lipsticks and a shoe come flying towards me. Unfortunately the noise, rapid movement and subsequent thump has brought the attention of Tig who was walking past and he stops to look in the door leering at them until I go through the door frame completely and close it, twisting the lock behind me muttering "Brothers wife there Tiggie."

Hearing him bark a laugh I know he's heard me as his footsteps continue down the hall.

After utilising Opie's shower the next 2 hours seem to fly by, with just one short interruption after about 30 minutes when Opie stuck his head in to get my car keys. I don't bother to ask, I'm sure that they have managed to calm the garage bike (cause everyone's had a ride) down and have sorted somewhere for my car to be parked that's as safe as the lot.

After Donna raided Opie's stash each of us have a happy buzz going on after sharing 2 joints and the ¼ bottle of Whiskey we found in a draw, which normally wouldn't have been much but on top of the pot I'm feeling very relaxed and mellow, which is probably a good thing as I know I'll have to face Jax and that he'll be pissed at me after having spent the day with Tara at the hospital after her surgery today.

As the clock hits 8:30 we finally put finishing touches on make-up and pull shoes on as Opie bangs on the door to let us, well me, know it's time to stop hiding.

Donna laughs, throws open the door and all but drags me out the door and towards the main room, and the bar.

As we turn the final corner to the bar I know that it's going to be an interesting night, the outfits my friends and picked for the night don't seem to be that much different from the norm, but I guess the 3 new faces with Donna make us interesting.

Donna is in skin tight black jeans and a silver top that droops off one shoulder, her black the 4 inch peep toe heels she unearthed from Opie's closet finishing her outfit.

Al and Cam, I'm sure will end up starting a fight. They have picked different colours, but identical 'dresses'. They are both wearing shiny black sky high heels, and men's dress shirts belted at the waist as dresses, with pale daisy dukes under them, in cause of a wardrobe malfunction. Cam's shirt is deep charcoal, while Al's shirt is white.

I guess next to them I look like of conservative. I'm wearing a pair of knee high black boots, with 8 pairs of miniature silver handcuffs that run across the front of the boots with a silver chain. I've managed to find a top that outlines all my tattoos, a sleeve less top which plunges almost to my belly button at the front and to my waist leaving my entire back exposed. Its pitch black, and I've paired that with a pair of black leggings with lace designs holding the sides together. Through the lace the lines of the tattoo on my leg are visible, but not able to be recognised as anything. I've found some long black ribbon that I've used to loop all my hair into one messy bun on the base of my neck.

After a chorus of wolf whistles the four of us start trying to work our way to the bar when I spot Jax, sitting by the door to Chapel. As he meets my eyes he stands up and shoves the blonde off his lap. It's not till he's halfway to me and I'm seriously considering running back to Opie's room that I realise the blonde is Ima and she looks furious.

Opie appears and carts Donna towards the bar. Al and Cam have seen Jax heading towards me and both seem to think that it's safest with Donna so they follow her over to where she being sat on the bar stool Opie just vacated.

Happy, having seen the look Ima shot at me stalks over, slaps her ass and orders her to the bar to get him a drink, in a sharp motion I can read from where I'm standing. I guess Ima realises that for her 'role' in the club any member is a member she has to please so she totters towards the bar in the 8 inch clear platform heels she's wearing.

All of this I've seen past Jax's shoulder, but I pull my attention to him as he blocks my view, and I'm not sure if I'm about to be escorted out of the club, Charming, or California, and I haven't even gotten to the bar to have a drink yet.

Donna catches my eyes from her position beside her husband, she gives me a questioning glance, but I know I have to deal with this myself, after all I've said several times I'm done running. I guess this is going to be the biggest test of if I am willing to stay through shit storms that keep breaking right over my head.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

He strides over to me and as soon as I am within reach he turns me around, saying "We need to talk for a minute."

I let him push me towards the outer door, but as soon as we're outside I break from his grip and spend a couple of minutes getting food, hoping to delay the confrontation I am sure is about to come, before I head to the picnic table Jax has commandeered, dropping a plate in front of him I sit down opposite and wait.

He's completely motionless and silent for a few seconds, before he fishes out a cigarette and drops the pack between us. Calling a prospect over he sends him inside to bring back beer and whatever I want to drink.

Taking a look at Jax's face I decide it's going to be rough, whatever it is that he has to say so I decide on a bottle of vodka, and a shot glass.

10 minutes of very awkward silence, Jax is just starting to swear at the prospects ability to disappear when the ½ full bottle of ice cold vodka, a second shot glass and a bottle of whiskey are placed between us. I finish the simple burger I'd grabbed and place the plate between us to act as an ashtray for him. Jax lights another smoke and stares as the untouched food I placed in front of him. I'm not sure if I should be insulted that he's not eating, or glad that I got a final meal.

He takes a deep breath, and a bit slug of beer, "I know you didn't touch her I should have believed you in the first place. I'm sorry that I thought for even a second that you had done it."

I'm momentarily stunned, I was expecting several things. This was not on the list. "So, what actually happened?" I ask, genuine curiosity colouring my tone.

"After the surgery, in recovery, she was really dopey but still started talking, it's the most honest I've heard her, she was telling me about what happened when you came over, but before she could tell me the whole story, one of the doctors from paediatrics came down to see how she was. I recognised him from seeing him check on Abel, but I'd never thought about it. But Tara, she started muttering to him, apologising for not telling me the truth. I was so confused but Dr Namid, the doctor, said he didn't know what she meant, he hadn't seen her since she observed on Abel's surgery. And I started to piece together what she meant, she lied to me about Abel's operation, she told me that SHE performed it all. That's why she was apologising to him; she took credit for him saving my sons life. But I thought I might have been confused, so I went and checked over all Abel's notes, sure enough all the surgical notes have Dr Namid's name beside them and there is a note on the list of who was present that 'Tara Knowles – Medical student' was observing."

He stops for a second, puts the beer to his mouth and drains half the bottle. "I went and talked to her neighbour about the other night, he told me exactly what I guess I expected to hear, you arrived, you talked, and you left. But apparently when you left she looked livid. She slammed her door so hard she broke one of the panes in the top, which she also blamed on you when I got there and found it. What's worse about the whole thing though is when I went and told her we were done she asked me if it was because of Abel and the surgery, or if it was because of you. Then she told me that she had wanted to see if she could come back and end up back where she was before she left, in my life, heart and bed. It turns out she has a fiancée in Chicago. She never intended on staying in Charming."

Words were falling out of Jax at a speed I struggled to keep up with. Pouring him a shot of whiskey while I let the words he's just spewed sink into my brain I absently note that Donna and Opie have come outside, and Cam and Al have made themselves at home with members of the Charming charter and a vague thought floats through my mind that maybe the men attached to those kuttes could help make Charming their homes too. I know that my friends are making sure Jax isn't currently trying to drag me out of the lot to murder me, and it does make me grateful towards them.

Turning my attention back to Jax I don't know what to say, the 'I told you so' is right on the tip of my tongue, so I take a shot of vodka to drown it, I know it won't help this situation, and I hope that the anger I can see simmering under Jax's exterior is not aimed at anyone but Tara.

Jax obviously gets that I need a minute as he calmly sits drinking his beer, finally eating the burger in front of him and sends the prospect that's still floating around outside back in for another beer, which arrives back inside a minute. After another 5 minutes the new beer and the burger are done and he looks at me and says "Say something, please."

"Honestly, I'm not really sure what to say. I don't want to say _I_ told you so, and I hope you realise that, but I do want to say that _Donna_ told you to look at Abel's notes. _Gemma_ told you something was off with Tara. _Opie_ said that you took Tara back into your life too easy."

I stop, take a drink, bypassing the shot glass entirely and just tipping the bottle to my lips. A few mouthfuls of the clear liquid don't help the thoughts become one coherent stream but I start talking anyway, knowing Jax needs something.

"Jax, I left for many reasons, some of them you know, but you don't know the whole story Tara told me. She told me she was pregnant, that it was yours and that's why you were so eager to leave with her. I couldn't, and wouldn't, continue to live the half-life I had with her hanging all over you when you were both around me, I couldn't deal with the phone calls I would get when you two were having sex. I couldn't deal with the constant comments she would make about you and your…" I take another swig, hoping it will help me break the babble that's started flooding out.

The vodka doesn't help, and I know I've told him more than I planned, but I figure I may as well let him know it all. "…assets, I guess is the most polite way to word it. She knew how I felt about you. Shit she only met you cause I became her friend, I thought she was mine to and I was stupid enough to have told her that I loved you and that I was sure I would eventually be your Old Lady. That was about a month before she ended up in your bed, I'd be egotistical if I thought it was cause of me, but part of me will always thing that that's the only reason she ended up there so fast was to keep me out of it. Do you know where she was the afternoon of your crow became her tramp stamp?" I take a breath, the vodka sloshing a little in the bottle as I push it around on the table, using it as something to do with my hands and a way to avoid having to look at Jax.

"She was standing in my living room, showing me how you'd marked her as being the most important woman in your life, as the person you intended to spend the rest of your life with. Then she spent about 10 minutes telling me all about the sex you'd had the second it was finished and you were able to leave. Donna didn't get any of that, but obviously Tara didn't see Donna as any threat, after all even back then it was clear that the only man for Donna was Opie. But she still would make sure that Donna was in ear shot every now and then to hear her babble about the 'beautiful family' you would have and how your future would be 'perfect together'."

I look up at him and see he looks stunned, but I'm not quiet finished yet.

"I didn't come back intending to take my place back where it was before I left, I won't be that 5th wheel again. I came back to help you, if you wanted it, with Abel. I came back to get away from Craig, which you all know. I came back because I was sick of New York. I came back because I missed my friends, and my family. Coming back and finding out that not only was Tara back, but she was back in your life almost made me turn around and leave again. But you're not the only reason I came back, yes I missed you, and yes it took a long time for me to stop thinking about you, but I'm not running again."

"I'm sorry that she lied to you about the most important thing in the world, Abel's life. I'm sorry she lied to you about me, but that doesn't surprise me. Her and I have a dislike that stemmed after she became your girlfriend it will never be gone. I'm sorry that she manipulated you, and I'm sorry that you fell for it all. I'm not sorry that you know what she's like now, and I'm not sorry that I've told you how she was before I left. I am sorry that I didn't tell you before I left. I'm not sorry that you now know how she treated your friends."

I stand up, going to walk past him, but I stop for a second, right beside where he's sitting. I reach over and pull the vodka bottle from the table, "When you're over her, have your fun fucking as many sweet butts as you want, but remember Jax I am not going anywhere, but I won't wait forever."

I kiss him on the cheek and walk over to Donna and Opie who are watching Happy and Tig beat the shit out of each other in the ring.

Donna looks at me, but I shake my head. I've had enough shit for one night, enough emotions have been torn out of me in one 30 minute conversation to last me a week. I am content to sit beside my best friend and her husband, drink the vodka I'm clutching and watch the bizarre display of 'manliness' unfold in the ring.

By 10pm I'm ready to go home, Jax doesn't seem to have moved far from where I left him, and I catch Gemma as she walks past "Are you leaving now?" I ask, hoping she'll be able to drop me back at the Winston's so I can sleep away this nightmare.

She nods and the pair of us go to her car, while I look frantically around the lot, having not seen my car since I came back outside, before I relax when Gemma laughingly says, "It's been put in one of the bays, there weren't any more parks out here. Ope has the keys still."

I nod, folding myself into the seat and watch out the window as Jax seems to break the trance he was in, stand and head into the clubhouse, the now distastefully familiar blonde attaching herself to his side the second he moves.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

AN: I'm not sure where to post the adult chapters that will be coming up. Can I have some ideas, but be aware that FFN takes web addresses out of comments.

Peeling my eyes open on Saturday morning I take inventory of myself. I'm in the familiar bed at the Winston's house, my dog is curled up behind me, taking more of the bed then I have. I appear to have managed to take the clothes I was wearing off and am in a plain t-shirt that I don't recognise.

External inventory done I catalogue the throbbing head, the dry mouth and the churning that is beginning in my stomach.

Rolling out of bed, I land on the floor with a thud "Mother fucker." I snap. It appears today won't be much better than the day before.

The door swings open and I see Donna standing there, looking far too cheerful for how I feel. She helps me to my feet "How much did you drink?"

"Umm," I start to think, "I had the whiskey with you guys, then probably about ¼ a bottle of vodka with Jax while we had the most painful conversation of my life. Then I ended up back here and I finished the ¼ that was left."

She shakes her head, passes me a pair of jeans and tells me that there's 'hangover cure' in the kitchen.

Struggling to get the pants on I finally find myself in the kitchen 15 minutes later, having tried to tame my hair, but given up just throwing it over my shoulder. On the table I find a massive pile of scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, sausage and toast, the grease from the deep fried foods (all of them, bar the eggs and toast) already staining the take out containers bearing Lumpy's logo. Opie enters the kitchen only minutes later, looking just as bad as I feel but we both know that after a greasy meal we'll either feel better, or vomit and feel better.

Between the two of us we polish of most of what is on the table, with several cups of very strong coffee.

When we finally make it to the lounge about 45 minutes after sitting down at the table Donna grins, obviously she didn't drink that much, after all they would still be at the clubhouse if she had. I vaguely wonder how they got back, but as I head down the hall I see my Challenger sitting in the driveway and I can't help but giggle at the thought of Opie in the passenger's side of that, he would have been rather…confined, it's not a large car at all.

Coming back into the lounge I sit in front of Donna and pass her the hairbrush I've just recovered from my room and let her sit quietly brushing the knots that have taken up residence in my haystack.

Ellie and Kenny are missing, and when I ask Opie answers "Gemma and the kids have a standing weekend date. This weekend it's Saturday morning at the pool, lunch and a movie, followed by a nap at her house and then back here for dinner. Unless they beg, which they do most weekends, to stay there the night."

"I see." I can't help but grin as I think of the way that the Donna I knew 6 years ago would have flatly refused to let Gemma have any future kids for a minute, let alone a whole day. Donna tugs sharply on my hair and I know she's worked out what I'm thinking.

"I am not that person anymore. I had the stick forcibly removed from my ass by my best friend."

"Yes you did babe," Opie responds, "and we're all thankful to the stickless, and the stick remover."

Donna throws my hairbrush at Opie who just barely misses it and it catches him right in the middle of the chest, but he's laughing so much at the outraged expression on his wife's face that he doesn't feel the moment of pain.

I haul myself to my feet and decide a nice long shower will be the final wake up I need.

The 3 of us have a very quiet day, Opie heads to the clubhouse at 1 for a short Church session, but when he returns he mows the lawn while Donna continually says "You missed a bit." Laughing every time he turns around to see that it's a bit he hasn't gotten to yet.

I commandeer their kitchen for the day, and by the time the kids arrive back at 3pm with Gemma, tired but begging for a 'Grandma sleepover' there is baking from one end of the kitchen to the other. I hand the kids a sugar cookie each Donna sends them into the backyard to eat the sugary crumbly cookies. Passing a cookie to Opie as he starts giving me puppy eyes, I put the casserole I've made for tonight's dinner in the oven and turn my attention back to the cake that I was in the middle of icing.

30 minutes later the cake is iced, the kids have been sent to Gemma's for the night and I'm trying to figure out what to do to get out of Opie and Donna's house for the night, so they can have a night by themselves.

Donna comes into the kitchen as I'm looking through the paper to see if there is anything playing at the tiny movie theatre. She snatches the paper away, "Oh no you don't. Apparently the wiseness that is Clay and the club have decided to patch in Kip and they are having the party tonight...so lots of hung over Sons getting drunk again."

I groan, I really don't want to see Jax again for a while, the final thing I said to him still echoing in my brain, despite me trying to forcibly remove it the previous night with vodka and during the course of today with mindless tasks I can do in my sleep. Sift, cream, beat, whisk, stir, measure.

"D, do I have to?" I know I sound like a whinging child, but I really don't want to spend any more time at the Clubhouse at the moment. And I don't need to even look at alcohol for at least a few weeks.

Donna is not going to let me avoid it though, "Yes, you do have to be there. Al and Cam are welcome as well, but you might want to warn them about Patch Parties if they do decide to come."

I drop my shoulders and stomp out of the room but all I hear behind me is Donna laughing as Opie comes in and says, "You told her huh?"

I pick up the phone and a couple of rings later Al is answering her end. "What?"

She does not sound happy, in fact she sounds incredibly ill. I can almost see the green in her complexion from where I'm sitting.

"There's another party tonight if you want to go."

Al groans sounding like she's attempting to move. "Nope, I'm not going anywhere tonight. My liver is going to take a year to forgive me for last night. Hang on, I'll ask Cam." A few shuffling noises before I hear a muffled conversation, the negative response from Cam coming without words as I hear her run for the bathroom and hurl.

After making sure that they are both okay, or will be a thought strikes me, "Wait, How did you guys get back to the hotel? My car is here."

"Taxi, the blonde guy that's not from Charming put us both in a cab at the same time he helped Donna get the giaganta-man into your car."

I laugh at the description of Opie and I hang up the phone and go to get my keys so I can get the other bag of clothes out of my car where they have been since I arrived 4 days ago. I stop and think, has it really only been 4 days since I arrived back. But going over the previous days, even though it feels like weeks on end it was Tuesday I arrived back and it's now Saturday.

I really feel like climbing back into bed for a few hours and trying to sleep through some of the tiredness that has just started seeping into my bones, so going back inside, bag of clothing over my shoulder I let Donna know I'm going to do just that, asking her to please wake me at 6:30, and if I'm not up by 6:45 to get the casserole out of the oven.


End file.
